I'm not going for Alex's thing tomorrow. Well, I wanted to, originally. I was looking forward to it infact but it's in Shah Alam and they are going at 6 a.m... SIX FREAKING A.M IN THE FREAKING MORNING. I feel like I'm going back to school. I'm not driving all the way to Shah Alam so early in the morning. I'd be so damn sleepy and blur I probably won't make it there safely. I'm not joking. He called me just now asking whether I was going, and I said no. He sounded disappointed [Mad?] but he just said OK. Oh well, let's hope he'll make it in.I'm really sick and tired of staying at home. There's nothing to do at home. I'm feeling a little redundant.
I feel like throwing up and to stab something.
Sometimes, I wonder why I bother making friends with people. No, scratch that. Actually, more like, why I bother talking to people. They never fail to piss me off 3 months into the friendship. It's either 3 months or 4. They always end up irritating me a little. I don't know why I'm like this but I am and I can't seem to change no matter how hard I try. I always just think it's better not to say anything to anybody when I first meet them, just in case I accidently become friends or something. I honestly don't need so many friends in my life. I should just shut up when I meet people in the future.
[And the 'friend' bashing starts here]
Oh right, when I shut up people think I'm being 'shy'. Don't make me puke. Shy is the last thing I'd ever be, okay? When I know you, but I don't say anything to you, it means I don't like you. It has nothing to do with being 'shy'.
[Those five sentences were directed at one particular stupid individual whom I KNEW].
I really wonder why I'm like this. Since, the rest of my family seems to LOVE talking to people. I can't talk to people at all. I'm like the ugly duckling of the whole family [Take the 'ugly' part litereally]. I'm different and people don't mind telling me that. I like being different, yes I do, I hate being normal... But, people think it's a bad thing.
'Everybody should be clones!'
That's what they think. They think that I should be a pink-loving-feminine-girl whose main goal in life is to get married and raise 5 ugly children!
'A ROCKSTAR? YOU want to play in a BAND?! What for? You're a girl!'
Erm, so? [Somebody really said those words to me before]. I don't get it though. I can't play in a band because I'm a GIRL? Which century are you living in? The Middle Ages? The Ice Ages?
Note that my main problem in life is people doubting me, people assuming things about me and people voicing unwanted comments about me?
So what if I like guys who apparently look like girls? You naturally ASSUME that I like them because they look like girls. Well, guess what? I'm one who likes them because they have talent. I don't like them just because of their looks.
I can't wait to move out of this country. I can't wait to move away from people who think like the grandparents of the 11th century.
*screams in frustration*
I've had it with people. I'm honestly sick of people. My biggest dream is to go on a murder rampage. And just kill everybody! Wouldn't that be nice? Just run around and stab EVERYBODY you see?
Of course, that'll never happen. I'm not that crazy.
The new people that I've met in my class in college... They are ONE fine example. I seriously wonder where they grew up. They're so closed minded. And here I thought we're finally in the 21st century. They're closed minded people trying to be open. How annoying is that?
[SOME of the anyway, not all are like that]. And they piss me off with their homophobia (Don't ask okay... I'm just referring to something that happened before).
I want to get away from it all. I want to seclude myself. I want to make as if I've never met anybody in my life. I want to send myself into an asylum and demand to be put into solitary confinement. I WANT TO BE ALONE!!
[Well, technically, I'm alone at the moment]
I'm feeling really emo today. (I'm sure you've noticed -.-)
OH, check this out~ Hydra's lyrics..
I wanna be an anarchist, too
I wanna be an anarchist, too
DEAD BORN
Sid Vicious
SusPicious
Kyo mentioned Sid Vicious~ Awesome.
I wanna be like Sid Vicious! (Overdose myself with drugs at 21)
I'm in the mood to drink. Anything alcoholic.
I think I need my lunch.
