I'm so bored.
And I say that all the time.
I'm in the mood to do a little bit of shopping but judging by the state of my wallet, that's a big no-no. *sigh*. I'm so fxcking bored.
Sometimes I wish I was like one of those emo people who have nothing better to do but chase an emo relationship and be all emo about it. At least then my life would be a little bit more exciting. Right now, the only thing close to a lover that I have is my computer... and my bass. I'm so boring.
I woke up at 1 PM today. Church was at 6 AM.
-_____-"
Happy Easter everybody.
You know, everytime I pick up my bass to practice, I always end up playing random notes. Like, I'd put my finger on a certain fret and string randomly and play to see what it'll sound like. And I always end up with a little tune. I've done so many, I can't keep track. The notes are everywhere and I can't find them anymore.
I wish I'd stick to something and create a full song. But it's hard. I think, for me, I'd need the guitars and drums to create a full song.
My baby hamster has opened it's eyes~ Ah, the joy of life.
Oh, urgh, my bass is out of tune, again.
Ah~ I think I just got my monthly visitor. I think that explains why my stomach is aching like craazy.
Now, I'll be emo, since I'm period-ing and I'm bored.
So, I was told the other day that it's because I appear 'aloof' and 'bored' in front of other people that people think I'm a bitch.
Aaaah~
I think it's time to tell the truth. As to why I appear like that in front of people.
I'm not too sure how many of you know this.. and how many of you already guessed but I'm just going to say it.
When I was in my early teens, around 13, somebody told me I always looked too eager to get to know people. And people thought I was some desperate horny teenager. Truth was, I was only 'eager' to get to know people because I didn't want people to think that I was some bitch.
So, after I was told that, I made a vow to myself when I was 14 that I won't be friendly to people. Since, when I'm friendly, they tell me I'm overly horny or something. So my new year's resolution for 2002 was to be a bitch. For real. If they weren't gonna like me for the way I was, I'll change for them, but for the worse.
So, then it happened. It's probably the only resolution I stuck to. I stopped talking to people, I stopped smiling at random strangers, I stopped approaching people. And so, I was labelled anti-social. And eventhough people seemed to have a problem with it, I won't change for them anymore. I'll be my own person.
But as the years went on, I realised that I was so much more comfortable being this 'aloof' bitch. I'm not kidding. I felt so much more comfortable around strangers when I'm not talking to them. Or when I'm not forcing myself to smile at them.
So I went from 'aloof' bitch to 'bored' bitch. I'm still a little aloof but more bored now. Meeting new people is not an exciting event for me. It's just something that happens out of God's will and I can't change it. So I don't see a reason to jump to my feet and greet you.
Anyway, the other day, one of my friend's annoying friend's told her that I appeared bitchy and they said that I do not know how to talk.
L. O. L.
Just because I didn't act like a whore and jump at you and demand you have sex with me means I'm a mute bitch?
Wow. What has the world come to.
-_____-"
I honestly find them annoying.
Lol <-I'm lol-ing for real now.
[Anyway, they wouldn't want me to talk to them.. I'd most likely end up being majorly sarcastic judging from what I've heard about them]
Ah, urk. My stomach really hurts. And my hamster cage demands cleaning. The poor fat slob is rolling around in dirty woodchips.
