Remember how I always say I'm crazy?
How I'm on my way to the loony bin?
How I'll most likely get into jail by 22?
All the looniness has caught up on me. All the years of perpetual depression. All the years of pent up sadness.
I'm hearing voices!!
I'm not fxcking you. You can choose not to believe it if you want but I've experienced it.
The thing is, the voice doesn't sound menacing. It only comes once in awhile. And so far the only thing I could make out is 'hey' and 'squirrel'. Hardly menacing.
But that's that and a voice in my head that I don't recognise is a voice in my head that I don't recognise.
It's been bothering me and I've been really moody these past few days about the whole 'given up' thing. So those two things mixed together really isn't all that good. I only got more depressed and moody after hearing the voice the first time.
And then it will appear once a day.
Though, today it didn't appear.
I decided that I needed to tell someone so I told my Mum. She said the devil is present in me. Scientifically, I'm almost insane and religiously, the devil is in me. That's her comment.
I think I worried her a little... but I forgot to tell her 'Don't worry, I'm fine now, I'm no longer THAT moody'. I mean today is the first day in the three days that I've smiled and laughed.
I'm really over it. If people are going to push me over and treat me with no respect... well, I can't say anything to that, can I? I just need to stand up for myself more than usual and if they don't respect me, I won't respect them. They shouldn't bother much.
But back to the voices.. I think my Mum thinks that the voices is the reason why I got angry at everybody. Which isn't really true, it came after I got angry. But it may have played a part in me becoming, not angry but depressed. Oh well, I do think I'm completely healed.
I'm still hurt no doubt but I have found joy.
Wanna know why?
I found a magazine with SynGates on it!
I told you I'm a simple girl who's easily happy.
I'm not going to brag here but I do think that I'm quite okay in the fact that I get happy over the littlest things but things don't make me angry or sad that easily.
Apparently, SJ and I have MORE in common than just plain insanity! We've been talking and I really do feel great knowing that I'm the only one :S lol.
†£¥ÐĪǺ ΤӘЅћЇ¥Λ† says:
but honestly, i think i've completely come out of my depression
†£¥ÐĪǺ ΤӘЅћЇ¥Λ† says:
longest depression ever
†£¥ÐĪǺ ΤӘЅћЇ¥Λ† says:
i think the syn magazine made me really happy
†£¥ÐĪǺ ΤӘЅћЇ¥Λ† says:
LOL!
†£¥ÐĪǺ ΤӘЅћЇ¥Λ† says:
it really did
†£¥ÐĪǺ ΤӘЅћЇ¥Λ† says:
the moment i saw the magazine i felt all the unhappies leave me...
†£¥ÐĪǺ ΤӘЅћЇ¥Λ† says:
and i could actually joke with my second older sis just now
†£¥ÐĪǺ ΤӘЅћЇ¥Λ† says:
i guess...whatever it is..i still kinda enjoy it when people are laughing..whether at me or with me i wouldn't know
[[* MadHatter ! *]] the Queen says:
lol
†£¥ÐĪǺ ΤӘЅћЇ¥Λ† says:
but at least people aren't yelling at me
[[* MadHatter ! *]] the Queen says:
thats good
†£¥ÐĪǺ ΤӘЅћЇ¥Λ† says:
yay~
[[* MadHatter ! *]] the Queen says:
dont be depressed
†£¥ÐĪǺ ΤӘЅћЇ¥Λ† says:
i'm not la
†£¥ÐĪǺ ΤӘЅћЇ¥Λ† says:
not anymore
[[* MadHatter ! *]] the Queen says:
hahaha
[[* MadHatter ! *]] the Queen says:
thats good
†£¥ÐĪǺ ΤӘЅћЇ¥Λ† says:
i mean..i'm still hurt la over everything but i guess i can forgive
†£¥ÐĪǺ ΤӘЅћЇ¥Λ† says:
they're never going to change and if i'm going to destroy myself mentally becuz of it abit wasted right?
†£¥ÐĪǺ ΤӘЅћЇ¥Λ† says:
i'm a young healthy teenager who has YET to have sex and jam on stage
†£¥ÐĪǺ ΤӘЅћЇ¥Λ† says:
so i gotta be sane enough to do all that before saying hello to the loon doctors
Glad to know the same ol' pervy girl is back. XD
