... the first time I entered college
- "Where the HECK are we supposed to go? Stupid people"
... the first time I laid eyes on Toshiya
- "Eww"
... the first time SJ said 'Let's form a band'
- "Okay~ I'll be on guitar!"
... the first time I was told 'I like you' by a guy
- "Okay, what do you want me to say? I don't? Cause I don't"
... the first time I really talked to Christina (age 9)
- "You got a SIX in MATHS?!'
... the first time I saw my bass
- "Awesome shit wow!"
... the first time I saw snow
- " :D "
... the first time I felt betrayed
- "Screw 'trust' "
... the first time a friend said 'Don't swear'
- "Fxck you"
... the first time I really felt like I was left alone (being lost in Disneyland Tokyo after 5 minutes)
- "Daddy?!"
... the first time a church member said 'Join us during Youth! You never come!'
- "Why should I?"
And I want to clear things up with people, right here..
Why am I vain?
Because I hate how I look.
Why am I hostile to you?
One, I'm not shy, damnit.
Two, I may not like you, that's why! Gee, thought you'd have it figured out already.
Why don't I like church people?
Because they appear superficial to me and I don't associate myself with people who pretend.
Why am I weird?
Because I'm not like you.
Why am I quiet?
Because I don't like a conversation that has nothing in it.
Why don't I open up to people?
I don't trust them.
Why do I hold back my emotions?
Because I don't want people to know how I really am inside.
Why do I like Marilyn Manson?
Because there's truth in his lyrics and he's not afraid to be different.
Why do I think I can actually meet Toshiya?
Because I have the right to 'wish'.
Why am I negative?
Because I'm just not positive.
Why don't I smile and talk when I meet someone new?
Because I've most likely heard about you from SJ or whoever, and I don't like you already.
Why don't I act like a normal teenage girl?
Because I'm not a sissy flirt, thank you.
So, anymore questions that you want answered? Feel free to ask!
Cause I'll tell it like it is right now.
What I do is up to me because I am me.
I have the right to be an individual and not a product of your factory produced teenagers.
Next time, if you aren't happy with who I am, SAY IT! Don't fxcking hint around.
I'm not one who would accept hints! I don't care what you think and I definitely don't care about what you're going to say.
So just say it, it'll go in and out the other side, see if I'll give a damn.
Afraid to hurt my feelings? Bury yourself and save the world from the eyesore that is you.
You think I'm shy? Just say that you think I'm a snobbish bitch! Because that's what I was to you~!
And to the one who told me 'I think you're lesbian because you don't have a boyfriend. How are you satisfied then? Do you masturbate?'
Here's what I'll say to you - Welcome to NORMAL LIFE! Where everything's not about sex and people are not sex starved like you! Perhaps you're just desperate because you know people would never wanna do you in their lifetime! Life here doesn't revolve around spending money and time on monthly girlfriends or boyfriends! People here actually look forward to loving someone whole heartedly and only get involved when they're sure! I sure hope you can get your head out of your clouds and see life for what it really is!
That was one stupid bastard. And I got asked by one of his friends 'Why don't you talk to him anymore?' Gee! You think?! He walks around with trash AND shit! And they're both UP HIS ASS.
Aaaah! People drive me crazy!
And they wonder why I hate socialising.
