I was sitting in the shop this morning, contemplating on mortality and how it's so fragile and then it dawned on me that human life is nothing very important. Why is that so, you ask? Let's follow the 'in with the new, out with the old theory'. We use it alot. Throw out the old cellphone buy a new one. It's replacable. Life is pretty much like that. When your time's up, you die. You disappear from earth. And then someone else is born, to replace the missing soul on earth.
Life shouldn't be very important, then, if we are so easily replaced.

And then, I was dwelling in my past. Not the bad things but all the good things. I hate dwelling in the past but I love taking a mental journey to my childhood.
While I was doing so, I remembered the HUGE pink and green dollhouse I once had. I had seen it in the toystore and pretty much told, not asked, my Dad to get it for me. My Mum said I had to earn it by passing with a distinction in my piano exam, which I didn't (I was a few points short of a distinction). Well, I didn't really earn it, so to speak because the next time we went into the shop again (the next Sunday), I was gazing at the dollhouse and my Dad just bought it for me! (spoiled brat alert, I know).
And for a LONG TIME after that, I put my imagination into that house. I made the little people in it real, to me.
And while I was remembering that, it dawned on me that in all my life, I've talked to inanimate objects (i.e my toys) more than I've talked to people. It started off with my Barbie Dolls, then gloworm (a glow worm toy, don't ASK!), then the clown, then Ducky and then Ivan.
And I've always just had ONE toy that was my little baby.
Reading Claireeey's book about the imaginary friend, I suppose I have created imaginary friends for myself over so many years, eventhough I have friends that I love.
Actually, I have imaginary babies but never you mind that.

And THEN, I realised that my fondness for dwelling in my childhood is the ONE reason why I suffer from what they call 'Peter Pan Syndrome'. Which means something along the lines of 'refusal to grow up'. I think I'm afraid of something that's normal. I'm afraid of growing up. I'm afraid of people growing up and growing old. I'm afraid of birth and I'm afraid of death. I want things to stay the way it is now. So when it comes down to it, we go back to the concept of mortality.. and I'm afraid of it.
Why am I afraid of something so normal??

Anyway, if you found all that weird, I admit, it is.
But you have to know, that my kidneys were hurting at that moment and I was not in tiptop physical and mental condition which means it has affected my emotions and so I was not in perfect emotional condition too.
Which sucks.

Jessica came and I said 'Can I go home, please??' and she asked 'Why?' and I said 'My kidneys hurt'. I think she was too startled to say 'No' so she just said 'Okay'.

And I came home and slept till my Mum woke me up because she needed me to send her to pick up the rally car at the workshop (that damn car is ALWAYS in the workshop) and so I sent her. Along the way, Shari messaged me asking 'Where are you?' and I told her I was on my way to PJS1 (which I doubt she knew where) and then we agreed to meet in Asia Cafe cause apparently, she had a breakthrough and it's a surprise.
So, I met her as soon as I could (damn Puchong jam) in Asia Cafe and who else do I see but NUT!! The Nut has landed!!
Shari: I thought you'd figure out that the surprise was Nut
Lyd: I thought about that but I didn't know because Nut said Monday and I wasn't sure if she meant Monday as in Monday, our time, or Monday America time.
Shari: True, true. This IS Nut we're talking about.
Nut: HEY! Sheesh.
Shari: She has the sunglasses tan mark on her face.
Lyd: Yeah.
Shari: She noticed, Nut.
Nut: Sheesh.
And then while sitting there talking, we see Shakeena. We were waving like mad loons.
She came over and we were talking and then I realised that we were keeping her from her (oo-er) boyfriend. So I told her to go back to him.
Nut gave me presents! I got a pink, silver and black pair of underwear! *overshare* and a thong (which she has the pink one.. same thong!) and a black dress which is nice. Shari has strictly forbid me to wear anything BUT a bra inside cause the neckline is VERY low.
Shari has also planned a girls night out for Nut's birthday.
She mentioned male strip club. Count me in. (Yes, apparently, there's one)
And then it was time for Japanese class.
Nee On couldn't come to class due to overtime but he still came over after work and had dinner with me. Had some steak thing. Was good AND cheap. Claireeey, I'll bring you next time.
I disturbed him by telling him about the incesty brother and sister who came into the shop. (You know which, right Claireeey??)