She's a shocking girl, she really is and everytime she calls I'm shocked in some way or another but I definitely was NOT expecting this morning's shocker.
I was so shocked I had no idea what to say.
Except that I was happy for her. Though, I really did not know what to feel and think.
Then, I told my Mum and my Mum started talking about the worst situations that she could get herself into and I actually cried. The thought of it was depressing.
I just pray to God that everything works out for the better and that she isn't being taken for a fool because she's not a fool, just naive.
I don't know if anybody understands why I feel this way about it but she's just one of those few friends that I really care about and I see her as almost a younger sister and if anything bad were to happen, I'd just feel horrible.
Besides that early morning phone call, nothing much happened.
Had a double Prof. and Tech. Studies lecture to make up for my lecturer's absence last week. That's double the boredom.
Lord, I feel like handing my lecturer a few brochures for English classes. I'm sorry! I tried NOT being my usually nitpicky self about language but I can't study when I'm being so distracted by the constant errors.
Then, I had AutoCAD class. Learned how to insert block furniture. Nice nice. I put a nice huge swimming pool in my plan's backyard and once again my tutor shocked me from behind by exclaiming "Whoa! Look at Lydia... She has such a huge swimming pool!". I actually drew my hands close to my chest and looked at her like this o_o.
The last time this happened was when she snuck up on me and said in her Ju-On voice "Lydia... Any problems?"
She's quite the strange duck but I like her.
Yes, Vinushka is nice. Yum.
Mosquitoes just bit me on my chin. Erk.
I was in my Mum's bathroom and I saw this two mosquitoes flying in front of me... attached. I thought "Holy Moly, mating bugs!" so I squished them together. Usually, I'd let them have their fun but after living a few weeks with the never ending flow of mosquito traffic finding their way into my house I don't want more. So I squished.
Aaaaah... Is it strange that I feel strongly about the ongoing situation? More than I felt when I broke up? Like this isn't blind sadness.. It's just downright misery.
I don't want her going to a place she's never even heard of (Though, I have).
Is it selfish to say that I don't really want her to go because I don't want to NOT be able to see her? That's not the full reason, though.. just half the reason.
It's not as though I've always met her often, we talk once every two months for hours on end but at least I know she was safely at home. This time, Lord knows what can happen and I'm trying really hard to see a good side to this but I don't see any! And I know she wants me to be happy cause she is but I need to know if this is what she REALLY wants and I really want to tell her that if she has any doubts, any at all, she shouldn't go on with it.
I've always tried to steer her clear of any problems in the past but that was mistakes that could've been done and corrected.. This time, there's no such luck. It won't be easy to fix if this is a mistake.
What were her parents thinking?!
Shit, my Mum's words are worming their way into my head again.
Argh! I'm surrounded by pessimistic people... but pessimistic with a reason! I've never been more worried in my life.
I hope things will change.
She's coming down end of December for two weeks... I hope I have a chance to talk to her then but I don't want to say anything that will hurt her... ARGH! This is such a shitty situation! I NEVER thought I'll have to go through this.
