I have handed up the last of it...

... and I'm afraid to be too happy about it just in case something goes wrong again.
Ironically, while I'm having so much of problems with my design... my dissertation appears to have had no problem at all. How much of problem did I have during my dissertation? Two weeks. That's all.
How much of problem did/do I have for my design? The whole year.
Hah!
I won't get too happy.

Urgh.
It is sickening.
Damn it.
It's always this way.
Final pin-up = mayhem at 2AM in the morning.
Final presentation = mayhem in general.
Final resubmission = whatever is going on now.
It is very firmly cemented into my believes that if ever I am happy, something bad will happen.
You know, don't use 'us' when it's just you.

You know what, screw this shit. I'm going off.
Just in case some massive shit goes down..

*Yawn*

It's all about priorities

I was prepared to make a short but productive trip to KLCC today.
It completely slipped my mind that I was to aid in a certain bake-a-thon with my sister.
With that in mind, the first thing I did the moment I woke up was to call - 03-21648133
Why? Because that's the number for Kinokuniya.

Kino: Good afternoon, how may I help you?
Me: Is it possible to order or reserve on phone?
Kino: Yes.. Is it an English or Japanese book?
Me: Japanese...

Now, I have discovered a new way to order books without having to make the trip.
I've been ordering shit for years without realising that we could do it over the phone.
Bass Magazine June issue is now coming my way... Yes!

Yes, Toshiya is prioritised over my first meal of the day.

After dinner, the parents, brother and I went to Solaris for a drink.
Kilkenny... yumm.
Which is just as well because I nearly bought a four bottle pack of Hoegaarden that afternoon... temptations are a dangerous thing to give in to.
Apparently, it has always been my Dad's dream to drink with his of-age children.
Me and the brother got two while the parents got a glass each.
Good shit.
I love me some alcohol.. all the time!
Bad habits, bad habits.

The pictures for the Sequence '10 booklet is published.. on Facebook, that is.
I look every bit the alcoholic that I might be.
I look so damn drunk.
It is actually amazing.
(I wasn't. It was sleepiness + morning sun in my eyes)

Came back from Solaris to read that the actor Gary Coleman has been hospitalised due to a brain hemorrhage. I thought "Oh no, not another death!" and true enough, I just read he has passed on. When will the celebrity death race end?

I wanna be a fish... somewhat.

So exhausted right now D:
Woke up at 7:45AM.
Went out and I just came home.
Met Chris, Sara, Xiao Thoong and SJ for a movie (Prince of Persia) and lunch.

Prince of Persia was a visually pleasing movie... with great effects, CGI etc. (I'm seriously going to leave the hair out of this)
The storyline however, was mediocre. It was quite predictable for me and I fell asleep at the end.. and I guessed the ending correctly.
It wasn't a complete waste of money (Star Wars Ep2 was) but I was expecting better.. I'll stick to the games, thank you.
Met Donovan later on and sat in Starbucks. I always knew this but DAMN, I talk alot XD
If you don't pull in the reigns a little, I can go on for ages.

I still wanna watch Iron Man 2.. and now I wanna watch Shrek D:

Has anybody seen the new Dir en grey OHP pictures?
*massive nosebleed*
Is that...?
No, it can't be...
IS IT?
A SMILE?!
From Toshiya....?Ah... it is T_T <- (tears of joy) He's so cute/gorgeous/sexy/adorable/irresistable/amazing/*choose own adjectives*

New Dir en grey tour is called "The Unwavering Fact of Tomorrow"
I've loved them for a long time but for that long time, I always question which arse do they pull these names from? Sure, it sounds cool/normal in Japanese but in English.. BabelFish translation is NOT the way to go, yo. XD

Dir en grey's Mobile Q&A

Taken from http://community.livejournal.com/diru_diaries/

Subject: To Toshiya-san

Is there something other than music that you are into now? Please also tell us about its' appeal!!

Toshiya: I am constantly into sleeping.
It's appeal is because it's happiness. What I love most is, "Just 5 more minutes" (laughs)

Yes, I see the appeal XD
What I love most is, "Just 1 more hour"..
Ah, that's where we differ~!

Oh, and I completely forgot!!
I picked up the Dir en grey Bass & Drums book feat. Toshiya & Shinya...
All I can say is "POSTER"
Not to mention, they gave bass scores to Akuro no Oka's solo (which I have tried again and again but arpeggios are not my forte.. in piano, guitar AND bass).. and they have the full band score for Hageshisa to, Kono Mune no Naka de... Karami.. Tsuita? Suita?... something something Yami.
I hate that name.
And now... NOW.. I discover that Bass Magazine has Toshiya and Ikuzone (Dragon Ash) on the cover of their June issue.
I love their basses. Not so crazy over the sunset one.. I preferred Toshiya's stripey one to this one.
I do love the hole, though.
:O This is what happens when your internet dies... you lose all track of things XD

When the shit hits the fan

Moods these days are so... volatile (Is it alright to say that?)
I never know when one fuse is gonna blow or when one fuse is gonna be fixed.
I never know when one is gonna come home scremaing or smiling.
Right now, it's scary because it's bordering on criminal.
I never know when I might need an emergency number.. or a knife.
Sorry does not make things better, it makes thing worse. If you are able to feel sorry for it, don't do it again.
Unfortunately, it happens again.
Twice now, it's happened.. I pray to all that's holy that the phrase "Third time's the charm" does not apply to this.

Meanwhile, I have to redo presentation board and 3Ds D:
Not good enough.
All year long, I've felt like a dog with five leashes and each end is tugging me into the direction they want me to head.. and then I discovered at the end of the day, the direction I was heading at to begin with was the 'right' direction.
You have no idea how frustrated I am.
So frustrated that all bad habits I pushed aside have returned. I'm trying to substitute all that with Coke. NOT WORKING.

After presentation on Monday, about 40 of us went to Kepong for steamboat.
Maybe it is the water but I'm not sure why we travelled all the way there for steamboat.
Anyway, even after eight bottles of beer, I only got to the point where I was happy. Somehow, I felt like I got happy a little too fast.. maybe it's because I was tired. Not sure.

"A loose manhole cover was the cause of Rubens Barrichello’s spectacular crash during the recent Monaco Grand Prix, the Williams team have confirmed"
My Lord.
As spectacular as it was, I expected a spectacular cause... maybe a failure somewhere that caused him to crash into the wall at high speed causing him to spin that distance.. but nooo.. manhole cover?!
-_________-" What about his supposed littering? He DID throw his steering wheel onto the track..
Meanwhile, formula1.com has been doing this 'The Secret Life ... " series.. and I have yet to see Rosberg's D:
What's with the delay!? XD
F1 is going back to the US... Austin, Texas will host the USGP from 2012 to 2021.. wonder what the track is like.
Turkey this weekend. Can't wait.

I'm so glad to be back online.

1701st post is about my final presentation.. ever..

.. in school that is.

My pin-up is today.
The deadline is today.
I've been working for three years to reach this day.

As I sit here, waiting for my prototype walls to dry (Phew, close shave~) I'm reminding of the past three years..
Unfortunately, I have the same thing to say about is as I do about secondary school.. "Meh"
I'm not the type of person to get emotionally attached to a period of time.
I don't get weepy or teary eyed or sentimental.
I don't think of it as 'Goodbye'. I focus more on the 'Hello'.
True, I was very excited at the idea of college in the beginning but after awhile, you realise it is no different than secondary school.
I was pretty much the same person.
(Maybe just a little different.. hopefully).

Now it's on to focus on the next thing in life....
That is, if I pass which I have my doubts about :S
The Doubt Cloud has been raining over my +Parade for the past few months.

--So, after you moved from Kyoto to Osaka and was doing your activities, Dir en grey was formed.

Kyo: The previously active band in Osaka, I did that for only one year, in any case I wasn’t really interested in the people from other bands. But when we played with another band, I was somehow drawn to Toshiya (bass). At that time for a change, I was the first one who spoke to him (laughs). I became friends with him. Then, I thought that I wanted to play in a band with him.

--Why did you want to be friends with him?

Kyo: For some reason, he sparkled/glowed.'

HA-HA-HA-HA-HA....
Why did it have HAVE to be translated as sparkled? Now I'm thinking of that bloody vampire.
And that's not who I'd like to have come to mind when I'm reading about Toshiya.

Me: Yay!!! I can go to S'pore!!! My parents agreed!!!
SJ: Yesssssssssssssss!!!
Me: Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!

Yes. So the trip is ON.
The roadtrip we planned in 2005 (after we got our licenses) is finally materialising.
But, we ain't driving.
Lord bless us if we were to drive the entire way.

I do like the Belmonts.
I love this! One of the brilliant finds of the day.
What's Superman? It starts with OA...
And he's so hot. Yes, it's a boy. It's Kamijo!! :D

Nice name, though.

Also, realised the other day why Barty Crouch Jr. in the Harry Potter movies always looked so familiar to me.. he's David Tennant! He was the Doctor in Doctor Who.

For the first time...

... I have no idea what to do.
No idea how to react.
No idea what to expect.

What is the point of all this? I do not know.
Why are you doing all this? I do not know.
But I know, I'm not the only one who is feeling the way I am.

*sigh*
I honestly give up.

Life is not a Chinese/Korean drama.
This is so unreal.

On the other hand, I'm falling back into my JRock phase again.
Pierrot~ ♥
There are limited vocalist that I seriously adore in JRock. Very few. I always end up loving the bassists.
Pierrot's Kirito is the only reason I started listening to Pierrot to begin with. Neo Grotesque has got to be one of the more orgasmic songs ever.. (In my opinion)
There's something special about his voice.. androgynous, child-like, man-ish but yet when he screams (ie. Neo Grotesque) it is like angels and devils in one giant snowheap.
I don't go around shouting my lust for Kirito (as I do for Toshiya, I'm not a stalker) and I don't even feel attracted to his looks the way I am with.. need I say?.. but whenever he's singing or on stage, I'm in lust. I just love the way he moves.. the way there's always this slight edge in his otherwise, quite boyband-ish voice.
(Oh, and Kohta playing the bass is hot as hell.. Kohta = Kirito's brother. Very adorable. Very awesome)
[Kirito in Nazi costumes is politically incorrect but very sexy]

The other vocalist that I probably have never mentioned is KOZI.
Know him? The bassist from Malice Mizer.
He went solo after... and I love him.
(I love many but my love is only true for Toshiya XD)
Also, Asagi but I get bored quite fast.
And Isshi of Kagrra. Originally, I tried listening because I really really liked Shin (guitarist) as he was small, and looked like the guy with the kanji (my name's kanji) on his head in Naruto. He played the guitar, composed, played the koto etc. and was so talented I could die. But without Isshi, Kagrra will not be Kagrra.

Kamijo, previously of Lareine and now Versailles, on the other hand is a different kind of hot.
Lareine, previously, was a bunch glammed up men with long bright hair and even brighter costumes singing love songs. In fact, for awhile there, Kamijo looked like a stereotypical drag queen.
Then he cut his hair.... :O It was like the reincarnation of... no, there has never been a being so gorgeous.
And sorta, as I kinda noticed, stopped saying his 'Bonjour, honey' which always sent me into giggling fits that can kill.. kill me and others around me.
I also like to believe that he burned that blue hat... but forget that.
He is so gorgeous.
He is something you don't say "I wanna do that" to.
No.. he is so white (hair, skin etc) touching him should be a sin.
And when he sings, it's like he's trying to lead the wise men to baby Jesus (you know, chorus of angels.. bah, learn up on religion, idiots! XD)
In fact, I like thinking of him as a divine being so much that looking at his smutty photoshoot with Sanaka is like witnessing first hand the dirtiest of sins... which of course makes it even hotter (the fact that they're both men helped in making it hotter as well.. what with the tongue and all)

Toshi... is... GOD.
'Nuff said.
[Many people will disagree because I know many people who can't stand Toshi's voice but I've loved it for years and will always love his voice]

All-time favourite

Wonder how many of you have seen the PV.
I love it.

My fascination with ghosts, the supernatural and death in general

Allow me a moment to ponder on that.

Since I was a young child, I've always been fascinated by death.
Death was a question of mine that reading dictionaries, encyclopedias or books would not answer.
It all started when I was about 4/5 and there was a show on the telly (My sister once told me it was X-Files, but I'm not too sure).. basically, they accidentally buried this man alive and he had to crawl out of his coffin.
I've always blamed that 5 minutes of accidental exposure as the undoing of my sanity.
I could not sleep that night because for the first time, I was thinking about death.
Fear slowly gave way to fascination and I became fascinated by death rituals/rites/believes/what happens after etc..
I remember that I used to often enough wrap myself up really tight in the blanket, lay still and stop breathing.. because I wanted to know what it was like to be dead.
At 7, I wondered how easily does a person die and foolishly contemplated finding out while staring at my Mum's meat cleaver.
At around 8-9, I discovered that strangling someone causes death and tried it on myself.
At 11, I became slightly obsessed with the Egyptian Book of Death.. and their mummies and tombs.
Also around the same time, the kids in school started reading this popular series called True Singaporean Ghost Stories. They made me read one and I became even more fascinated. Ghosts.. that was something I always knew (and personally, feared) but never thought to consider as part of my deadly fascination.
I kept trying to find the scientific answer and there isn't any but superstition had many answers for me and it was just a matter of me picking my favourite one.
Chinese superstition, Western believes, Malay demons.. there was so many to pick from.
Then my Mum began to notice my unhealthy interests and told me that Christianity does not promote believes in such things. That did me no good because a ghost does appear in the Bible.. and I was bored enough during all those Sundays in church to find out.
My Mum has reminded me constantly, since she discovered, to not fall into the blackhole that I'm digging for myself, my spiritual self and my sanity. She believes the devil is clouding my mind.
If anybody knows me well enough, there is no spiritual self and there is just a grain left of my sanity to save.
Then, came my first horror movie. Looking back, it was quite a laugh but I was genuinely horrified back then. Horrifyingly fascinated.
I think it's safe to say, that my ongoing love-hate relationship with death is still going strong.
In recent years, I've found myself messing with an Ouija board, talking out loud in the dark seeking a reply, turning around sharply in the dark seeking a figure and I honestly believe, I'm becoming interested in holding or participating in a seance.
My mind and believes are purely scientific, as you might already know.
I have a love for physics.
But above (or below) all that science, is what I would call my 'desire' to see proof of a parallel universe quite unlike our mortal one.
Oh, and I'm still curious about death, oh yeah.
That has not and will never change.
Post-man-climbing-out-of-coffin times, I find myself wondering how long does the pain last when getting shot in the head, how many stabs to the stomach does one endure before succumbing to the pain and shit like that.
It isn't pretty, I know.
It's not as if I've ever considered stabbing anybody.
I always wondered how long will I feel the pain after the shot, or how many stabs can I endure.
Guess it's safe to say that my fascination is slowly becoming violent.

Throughout my life, I've always wondered why.
Why are these thoughts always on my mind?
If I hadn't watched that show on the telly, would I be different?

After downloading all 11 seasons of Midsomer Murders for my Mum..

... I thought it'd be a nice thing if I repeated the act with both seasons of Merlin (as she loves it)
And now, I'm sorta obsessed with it.
The series is sorta like Smallville but for King Arthur and Merlin.
It shows them at the same age (which kinda took me by surprise initially cause Merlin's supposed to be immortally old) and all about how Merlin has to hide his magic from King Uther (Arthur's Dad) because he hates all magic (for a pretty legit or silly reason depending on your morals and values).
Merlin becomes Arthur's servant and Guinevere is Morgana's maid (Morgana is King Uther's ward in the show).
Morgana is pretty useless, truth be told. She stands around being pretty and posing and even when you think she's gonna show all the medieval girls up, she stands down and lets the boys do the ass-kicking. *sigh*

Watch the show for:

• The very slashable bromance between Merlin and Arthur (I read BL manga extensively and am very quick to slash any two boys I see on screen, I'm sorry)
• The very clever writing. I'm a fan of British TV and honestly, I have seen the bad and good and this is a good one. I, as a fan of the Arthurian legend, appreciates the way they incorporate all the characters in ways you don't expect (Modred and Guinevere, for example)
• The captivating storylines. Some are okay, some are exciting and others are a yawn but generally, it's some pretty good writing.
• If you're a fan of castles.. watch! CGI Camelot is pretty impressive. (I'm pretty sure it's CGI)
• If you're a fan of men on horses.. watch. Especially when Lancelot appears and wears his tunic and.. *nosebleeds*.. sorry.. and when he prances around with his sword and shield... *nosebleeds again* [Wait, Lancelot does not prance on a horse... oh who cares, watch for LANCELOT!]
• Arthur is hot (and gets hunkier in the second season, mark my words), Merlin is geek-cute, Lancelot is.. read above.
• Even Uther gets attractive in an above 50-type of way but his hate for magic irritates me. Curses.
• Good acting. One thing's for sure, they act good.

Don't watch for..

• Bad CGI! The griffin was as bad as Abbaddon in Torchwood. Uncomfortable to watch and all I wanted to do was fastforward to when it ends. The dragon under the castle was done pretty well but that's because it hardly moves.
• Possible leads in the bromance. NOT GONNA HAPPEN KEEP DREAMING THERE ARE FANFICTION ONLINE FOR THAT KINDA SHIT.
• Naked men ala Spartacus.. Naaah~ Half the time, they are in chainmail... burdened with armour and bright coloured cloth.

Doesn't this...

... kinda look like this -> :O ?

Submission over but I have to redo.
*sigh*
FML!
(My model fell apart minutes before presentation time...)
(My throat is still painful...)
(I'm still coughing like the world depended on it)

Found this really cool Michael Jackson cover done by Purple Crush..
Really awesome.

Aaah~ Class starting. Have to go off for awhile....

(Came Home)

Watching Merlin while I'm burning it for my Mum.
It's addictive. Now I know why she's so into it.
Arthur is hot. Morgana is hot. And Gwen of Torchwood is in the first episode.. Oo-er.
(Something tells me my reason for enjoying it is alot different from my Mum's)
And you know what, if Merlin would lose those bangs, he'd be quite hot as well..
Aaah, I sense me getting into this show.

Bathed my baby "GIRL" after class.
And I found an awesome set of male rabbit balls.
First reaction was "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarghhhhhhhh!"
Second reaction was "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarghhhhhhhh!"
Third reaction was "...."
Then I went "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarghhhhhhhh!"
All the time the rabbit was just staring at me like "WTF?"
My girl is a boy!! Why is everything in my life gender-confused?!

In yaoi manga...
There are no girls unless it's the mother/the jealous girl/the slut... or the yaoi-loving younger/older sister.
All straight men harbour homosexual thoughts towards their childhood friend/the pretty boy.
The best way to an uke's heart is through... force.
Apparently, all boys are closet gays.
All semes are taller than Yao Ming, possessive, manic, amazingly confident, a womanizer prior to meeting said uke and a little childish... and looks hot in a suit. Any suit.
(The thought of a seme makes me think of Asami.. that's an ultra-seme.. not an ordinary dude)

Just noticed I have Malice Mizer bass tabs!
:D
Gekka no Yasukyouku, Le Ciel, Brise, Gardenia and Au Revoir!
I never knew this.. or I knew and I forgot... I don't know!
Wow, not only that but I have the ENTIRE bandscore for Dir en grey's Cage. :O This is like discovering the Holy Grail (I jest)
:D :D :D :D