RIP TAIJI

1966 - 2011

It's been almost 10 hours since I heard the news and I still cannot believe it.

I'm trying to type how and why he ended up dead but... I seriously do not how to do that.
All I know is, he finally got his life/career back together and then... this.
I didn't even know he got arrested.
I didn't even know he attempted suicide.
And then today, my sister messages me saying that he was brain dead after his attempt and that they decided to unplug the life support...
It's not good to start off your week by crying at work.

I had so much of hope of actually seeing him live after he popped up on stage at the X Japan concerts.

Now.. from the original 5 members, we're left with 3.
I do a little tribute to hide every year and I do feel sad whenever I think of the fact that he is gone.. but somehow, because I wasn't aware of the fact that hide died until a few years later it isn't as sad as it is with Taiji.

I probably don't make much sense typing but my brain is a little muddled with the fact that Taiji is dead.
Taiji!
The cowboy hat-wearing, tattoo-sporting, bike-riding, bass-ripping piece of awesome that composed Voiceless Screaming.

Mum said "Life isn't fair" when I practically wailed that "It is unfair".
It is.
I'm going to be selfish and immature and insist upon the fact that IT IS UNFAIR!
It is unfair that people like Taiji die and useless people are left to prowl the earth.

Updates Updates, read all about it.

I say this a lot and I know I'm going to sound like a really broken recorder but life cannot get anymore mundane than it is now.
Seriously.
Where is the adventure?
Where is the excitement?
I used to wake up everyday thinking and wondering about the endless possibilities life might give me...
Now I just wake up, go to work, come home and sleep.
I'm not a very happy person.

Been listening to loads of Yann Tiersen, X Japan, E.S Posthumus, Immediate Music and Globus these past few days.
Yann Tiersen is one of those composers that you listen to, sip a cup of tea, close your eyes and illustrate a children's book in your mind. Full of fantasy creatures and adventures. It makes me happy. You (whoever you are) should really listen to him.
Now I feel like drinking my strawberry tea.

My head's been cloudier these past few days.
My teachers used to complain about me constantly day dreaming... wait till they see me now. They're just gonna slice off a piece of foot in agony at how I turned out.

So apparently, the new Miss USA knows quite a bit about Star Wars and the media is going ape-shit crazy over that.
Why?
Can't a girl like Star Wars?
Wait till I win a beauty pageant, you idiots are gonna lose your pants AND panties over the amount of shit I know about Star Wars.
I'm not proud of it but my brother and I watched A New Hope AND Empire Strikes Back more times than we can count. (Vader was attractive even to a naive, innocent young me though he scared the Jesus out of me)
And that was before we reached the double digits.

... I'm actually quite proud of it.

Lately, I've been reminiscing...
Not about much, I assure you.
It isn't so much that I'm reminiscing but I'm just thinking about things from the past and indulging myself in more day dreams.

Oh and the dreams have gotten a tad weirder.
You thought cannibalism, cut-and-run limb mutilation and killer chess-playing clowns were weird.. I actually dreamed of REAL people and REAL friends the other day.
*shudder*