It's already 2 a.m and I've got church at 9 tomorrow. I don't feel sleepy and I don't want to try cause I know for a fact that I won't sleep anyway.
I'm still feeling a little on the depressed side of life. I really don't know what's going on with me! Why do I so easily get depressed like this?!
Was watching a concert to get my mind off my depression.
I REALLY want to make it with the band. I really want to make music and to play it. Everytime I watch celebrities perform, especially bands, I get so excited and happy. I think, without realising it, I put myself in their shoes. I love performing. I love the way the crowd looks up at you expecting something. I love the anxiety and nervous-ness that you experience before a performance and I love the way it disappears once you're on stage.
This band thing that I have going on with Chris, SJ and Claireeey is serious. At least for me. I'm VERY serious about it. And I expect everybody else to be serious too. Although, they probably don't understand this literal desperation I seem to have. I'm very serious. I will sacrifice alot of things (not my studies) for this band. But sometimes, I have my doubts about everything. At times, the other members seem to be not interested in the band the same way I am. Or at times, they seem to be just playing around. Which is kind of depressing. Considering the way I'm all into it.

In times like this, I get very inspired to write songs. And I do! But, I'll never create a tune to it cause there's no point.