A few things I've realised after living 18 years with myself... and hating every second of it

If my previous post, that got ate by that bitch Blogger, appear after this..I'll scream!

Anyway, over the years, I've come to realise some things about me..that I probably won't have if I wasn't such a no-life-bored-living-waste-of-oxygen.

1. I tend to swear when I'm pissed. As in, VERY pissed at somebody.
2. I tend to be sarcastic when I'm annoyed which usually comes after being pissed.
3. I feel more confident driving with BOTH shoes on.
4. I tend to get annoyed when people generally tell me how I should be.
5. I get pissed when people tell me what I should and should not do.
6. I hate SMS-ing anybody cause my thumbs always feel tired and lazy.
7. I tend to think my achievements are not good enough for the 'superior beings'.
8. I only write posts like this when I'm annoyed.
9. I hate my life at home sometimes and the NEED to escape this suffocating prison cell is increasing rapidly as the days go by.

I really want to move out with SJ. I hope our plan comes true one day.
And so, a few things I really wish would come true...

1. That I'd move out by the time I'm 22
2. That my band (Are we Excentrique or BlackRose now?) will actually make it big.
3. That I can own that RM6000 ESP LTD bass.
4. That people would stop wasting their lives fighting petty wars.
5. That I can be who I want to be.
6. That I'd be able to attend a Dir en grey live just once.

All very far-fetched wishes (especially number 5 judging by how things are going now).

I don't understand this. YOU want a tattoo on YOUR skin and OTHER PEOPLE are telling you whether you should or should not.
Some of you may find the logic in it but me being who I am.. I don't. I don't think people have the right to tell you what you can do to yourself. After all, you're the one going to live your whole live with yourself and those people aren't going to.

Q : What is your status?
A : Single

Q : What were you doing 5 minutes ago?
A : Drinking fruit juice

Q : What are your fave sports?
A : Sleeping.

Q : Do you cry most of the time you have problems?
A : I admit, I do sometimes, and I feel mighty wimpy

Q : Did you have a fight with sum1today?
A : No

Q : What are your fave subjects?
A : Art History

Q : Who cheers u up d most in yourlife?
A : SJ(she's on a whole different level), My friends, Ivan, Baby Ivan and Ivan The Third

Q : Do u like to chat?
A : Not really

Q : Last chat?
A : Claireeey

Q : Do you like to laugh?
A : When the situation requires it, yes.

Q : Last testi from? What's the testiabout?
A : I don't get testimonials cause I don't ask for them cause asking for them is really a waste of time on their side and mine.

Q : Last text message from? What'sabout?
A : SJ, about the nonsensical-typical ideals of the other generation

Q : Last food?
A : Fish

Q : Do you have an exam?
A : No. I'm on semester break, excuse me, don't remind me about school.

Q : Do you think people who like to study are alot like nerds?
A : No, as long as they don't flaunt their nerdy knowledge in my general direction.

Q : What's your opinion about long distance relationship?
A : It's good cause you have an opportunity to cheat on your 'special' half.

Q : About love at the first sight?
A : Nonsense that only appears in Hollywood.

Q : Did you ever love sumone but he/shedidnt like you?
A : No. I don't love people, generally.

Q : Did you ever dump sumone?
A : Yes.

Q : Have you ever taken a relationship with sumone u didn't love?
A : No, cause doing something like that is something that'll only hurt you in the future when you realise what a slut you've been by accepting someone for the sake of dating someone.

Q : Have you ever hurt sumone who u love so much?
A: No.

Q : Do you like your school?
A : Right now, kind of. Back then, not really.

Q : Do you have a new bestfriend?
A : No. Will always be SJ.

Q : Do you have sumthing you must do right now?
A : Sleep.

I swear I do too many quizzes. I shall create my own one day!

Driving makes my shoulders ache X_x

Today, went out with SJ to MidValley to get our watches [more matching lezzie-like accesories but the watch is really nice] and then headed over to 1Utama to meet up with Nat and Michelle! Finally meeting Michelle after 3 years or more. She's still scraping for gossip. Then I sent her home and proceeded to jamming my way all the way to OUG to send SJ home. *sheesh*. The best part of the whole OUG trip.. halfway through being stuck in a stand-still, I felt the need to go to the toilet. -________-" Of all awesome times... Then, it started raining and the splish splash sounds don't help very much.

Me : Eh, if I put my car into free-gear and then run out to the bushes there to piss...?
SJ : I'D DRIVE AWAY WITH YOUR CAR! O____O
Me : (￣□￣;)

(I was not serious)

Tomorrow, meeting up with Alex and SJ's tagging along. We're going clothes shopping for Alex. I don't know who else is coming along... but oh, heck. I'll just go. Times Square is just opposite.. BORDERS! o(≧∇≦)o

I finally found the website that I saved all my Kagrra pictures from the last time! All the pictures stuck in my old computer! (*´∀｀*) SHIN IN THIS KIMONO(the hot blonde one)!! *squeals like a horny high school girl* Ultimate hotness. XD I was pissing my sister off like crazy last night.

I want to cut my hair...SHORT. There's a need to cut off the dead ends. I'll keep them healthy for awhile, then do something with my hair again. I can't have normal looking hair! It'd make me ordinary. Don't you guys all want to be different from others? I think people should be different in a good way XD. I want my hair to be SILVER! ヽ(´▽`)ノ That'll be so weird!! Isn't that awesome? I wanna streak my hair silver... or white. REALLY KILL MY HAIR~

Asagi's voice is so hot! I get so happy everytime I hear his voice!! ^__^ So so so hot! It's practically audio porn...(I am kidding) But his voice is hot. Listen to the song 'Calling me' off their Tafel Anatomie. It's so... sexy?

We (SJ and I) went looking at guitars today. I really really really LOVE the ESP LTD series. Guitars AND basses. Whatever it is, it just has to be LTD. I love their basses. It's really special (and really expensive). But, Nick (Nat's boyfriend) said that he knows somebody who owns some place and if we give him the models we want, he can possibly get it cheaper for us (*´∀｀*). I actually found one ESP that I like, but after looking at it for awhile, I've changed my mind. I'm still on a wild hunt for The One. But that ESP guitar that I really love...*sigh* it's about RM6000... T____T. I'll get my bass first! Then I'll get a guitar.

NO MORE CLASS!

Today marks the first day of my 5 week semester break! I'm so happy! I feel so free. So many things to be done!
⊂二二二（　＾ω＾）二⊃

Yesterday, I went to school at around 8 thirty to hand up all my things. Then at around 9 thirty, we had a talk with Ms. Karen and we had to fill out the course feedback thing and write down what degree we'll be taking and whether or not we passed BM in SPM. Next semester it's all just project, drawing and the LAN subjects. Looking forward to it. And if we're going to Interior, our projects are all about interior only. I hope I chose the right choice...

After all that, Jason, Claireeey and I drove back to my house (for me and Claireeey to take a bath) then we went to Taman Mayang to eat for awhile before heading over to Sunway Pyramid for ice skating. Spent the afternoon ice skating and trying to get Claireeey to skate without falling or holding on to us XD. After that, for dinner, Ms. Jinchi and Mr. Kelvin joined us. We ate at HARTZ (That chicken buffet place). Their chocolate cake, pasta and ice cream sucked. I didn't like it at all. The chicken was nice (it IS a CHICKEN buffet after all).
After dinner, we all headed to the ex-hostel people's house. Ting Fung came with Chivas!(´・ω・`) That was awesome. XD My love for alcohol was shining through. I would have continued if it wasn't for the fact that I had to drive back alone.

Came home and SLEPT all the way! I felt so tired from the skating (and alcohol makes me so sleepy). Woke up this morning at around 1 and helped my grandmother make scones. She has started her Christmas baking. Can't wait for Christmas.

Kagrra's Utakata is still so wonderfulヽ(´ー`)ノ! All three songs in the single are awesome. I love it so much! I have this strong urge to learn the koto now.

(Yes, it's been awhile since I've used those smileys. XD I forgot about them for awhile.)

Tonight is the start of my Japanese class again. Abit lazy to go...

Me : Do scones HAVE to be round? Can we make them triangular?
Grandma : Of course not! They can be diamond shaped, rectangular, square...anything!
Mum : It's just made the same shape so it's even and baking will be easier.
Me : OOOH! So! If I make scones like T-O-S-H-I-Y-A...o(^▽^)o
Mum : Then you will be eating him up
Me : Isn't that wonderful? ^_~
Grandma : Poor fellow, you'll be burning him in the oven..
Mum : *snicker* Eternal flame...
Me : (つд⊂) Oh gosh! That's so cheesy!!!
Grandma : *ignore*

I'm FINALLY DONE with all my work. All I need is to take pictures of them and burn my CD and I'm done!

Suffered from a severe (I'm exaggerating) stomach ache last night. Made me unable to fall in and out of sleep for almost the entire night. I hate my stomach.

Yesterday was Alex's Project Superstar top 100 auditions. Went to CineLeisure at a little past 12 and met up with the lot. Waited around and was all nervous for him. He was one of the last to go up cause they're going by the order in which they were accepted before. Anyway, he finally went up sang Tu Ren Lei Le (?) and Mei Ren Yu (yay!) and.. we were all waiting and waiting all nervous and finally the GREEN light came on! *loud screams could be heard from us*. We were so happy!
CONGRATULATIONS ALEX!
Next, they're going to compete for a place in the Top 24. ^_^
At CineLeisure, I met up for awhile with Rye-chan cause her friend was in it too. We walked around and we went too SunComic. -they had a very big, cute Totoro-. And she showed me the DeathNote notebook. Which, doesn't really serve it's purpose for a notebook cause there were writings and snippets of the manga printed in. Don't think it's to be written in but it would be cool if we could write things in it.

Kagrra's new single, Utakata is so wonderful. I love Utakata so much. I love the part where Shin starts playing his koto. I love Kagrra so much. Even though they no longer wear their kimonos and they no longer have radical hair colours, their concept is kept within their music. It makes you listen to their music a little bit more seriously. (cause they don't serve as distraction). Utakata is beautiful. Watching the video was, a very moving moment.
Can I say that I'm very easily moved by music?

Christmas is coming soon! The time of cute snowmen!! I feel my snowmen obsession appearing again in this joyous occasion!

Bad day yet quite good

I'm almost done with all my work...*phew*. I really thought I wouldn't make it. That was the most stressful moment of my life. All I have to do is finish up my model and my canvas and I'm done. I'm quite relieved.

I had the most f*cked up moment this morning when I went to school to find that ALL my drawing work were WET. I don't know why this happened cause my drawing work was placed below my project tasks and the project work was dry and only the drawing was wet. SOAKED THROUGH. I was quite mad and I nearly cried but, thankfully, I didn't let anything fall. I told Mr. Kelvin and he said it was okay cause he already graded most so the wet areas doesn't matter. I was still in a very bad mood.

Tomorrow is Alex's Project Superstar thing. (How do you spell it?). In Cineleisure, so I'm gonna go to support him!
GOOD LUCK ALEX!
(I hope you've chosen a song..sing 'mei ren yu')

D's Calling Me is so NICE! Even my sister agrees with me. It's so..danceable. XD

Went out for dinner to celebrate my grandmother's birthday early. Had a very good chinese dinner. I'm full beyond understanding.

I (and midget Nat) am famous!

Walked into school today only to be surprised by Jason walking out of FCA20's classroom and announcing to me.. 'Eh, you appeared in R-AGE wei.. With 'that' top (referring to Chris' present to me)'. And I'm all 'O_o?'. Then I checked Claire's R-AGE out and was surprised to see my work in it too! My photography assignment. Was quite joyous but the joy was surpressed by the stress I was feeling trying to complete my work in time for assesment day. It's a rush against time for FCA19 as we attempt at completing, redoing, adding on and touching up in time for Monday.
Then, we went around trying to gather more copies of the article (it was centrespread) and I managed to get two. Oh well...

I kept screwing up my counter model today. Was so depressed. I don't know what was up with me. I wasn't focused and wasn't thinking, as usual. I don't know why but I kept breaking it. I was so angry with myself. I kept swearing and everytime I do that, Jason and Claireeey will be all O_O staring at me. I'm sorry Claireey and Jason. I also kept apologising to my foam boards everytime I forgot to bring them in after spraying. I felt a little looney today and it wasn't looney in a good way.

I still have so much to do! Complete my FA, complete my two acrylic figures, touch up my figure hatching...@_@. I don't even know if I can add on to my coasters. I don't know if there's enough time.

Bored so I'm blogging

Remember my whole thing about boots? XD Well, we're still looking for the fourth person who is willing! Cause it's really just the three of us now. Ray is very into getting them. So it's SJ. And so am I. SJ probably wants to get two O_O. Well, so do I but, I'll have to rethink it. And re-calculate the amount. Anyway, the one on the right is the one I've been eyeing since the first time I laid eyes on Cure. The sole is about 9.5 cm and the height is about 23 cm. I think. It's awesome! I'm still so in love with it.

Now, this one here. This is the same height I think but the sole is 3 cm only. I only came to realise the beauty of this marvelous piece of art after SJ liked the one somewhere above where this one was. It's really nice. Have to think and rethink about getting two. I don't know. As it is, I still want my bass. XD.

Finally listening to Tafel Anatomie. D ROCKS! I really love Asagi's voice. It's marvelous. And even my mum was impressed at how high and low he can go seemingly without effort.(She did mention their music is noisy though). I love D! Taiyou wo Okuru hi is awesome! Erm, since when did the Japanese language have a 'wo'? It's usually 'o', no? Don't ask me. I just got the song that way. Their music is always so complete!

Doing surveys for the fun of it...

Found this survey and thought I'd do it since I've nothing to blog about.

3 YEARS AGO,TODAY:
How old were you?
~15
What grade were you in?
~Form three
Where did you go to school?
~Assunta
Where did you work?
~No where. Though I wish I could work
Where did you live?
~SS2
How was your hair style?
~Ever changing. Long then short..then long again..then short again
Did you wear braces?
~Yeah
Did you wear glasses?
~Yeah
Who was your best friend?
~Nat, Shari and SJ
Who was your celebrity crush?
~LANCE!
How many piercings did you have?
~None
How many tattoos?
~None
What was your favorite band/group?
~N'SYNC *lol* I still like them very much
What was your worst fear?
~Getting caught lurking behind tables by teachers while skipping class
Had you smoked a cigarette yet?
~No
Had you gotten drunk/high yet?
~No
Had you been to a party yet?
~Yes (lol? Duh!)
Had your heart broken?
~No
Had broken someones heart?
~No

LETS SEE WHAT YOU ARE NOW !!!!!
How old are you?
~18
Where do you go to school?
~KBU
Where do you work?
~I still wish I had somewhere to work
Where do you live?
~Won't tell
How is your hair style?
~All over the place. It's just mostly in my face nowadays.
Do you have braces?
~Nope
Do you wear glasses?
~Yes
Who is your best friend?
~SJ
Still talk to any of your oldfriends?
~Yeap
Who is your celebrity crush?
~TOSHIYA
How many piercings now?
~6 (That's two for every year that has passed since form three)
How many tattoos?
~None, though I'm hoping for one
What is your biggest fear?
~Not making deadlines!
Have you smoked a cigarette yet?
~I won't tell
Have you gotten drunk or high?
~Haa~ I think so...drunk? Not too sure about that but definitely high
Have you been to a party?
~>_> Yes..
Has your heart been broken?
~Nope
Have you broken someones heart?
~I won't answer this cause I'm not too sure about people's hearts.

*grrrrrrrrrrrrr*

I'm so damn annoyed right now. I don't get it. Just because he wants it, everybody must do something. You make him think he's SOOO damn f*cking important. Well, good job, thank to YOU, he's like this now. And YOU complain. If you're going to encourage his already screwed up thinking, DON'T COMPLAIN. I don't want to listen. "What's so hard? You just need somebody to do it!'... Well, GO DO IT YOURSELF.

Today's presentation went fine, I suppose. Wasn't too bad. Oh well... The problem of the day wasn't presentation anyway, it was the final exam. THAT WAS SHIT! We were suppose to write an argumentative essay on whether or not we agree that 'thin models should continue to be used in advertisements'. Well, when in trouble what does one do? Claireeey and I emo-ed our way through the essay. XD It was okay. I've never done an english paper that long before. This took almost two hours. When one emos one has a lot to write about.

MY SISTER BOUGHT ME PLASTIC WRAPPER!! T____T
I can finally wrap all 6 magazines!! I'm overjoyed. THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

I passed my Japanese exam with 81%!! *omedetou!* Now, I'm going on to Intermediate 2~ Self-learning kanji, here I come! I'm FINALLY learning KANJI! *joyful*
I also found out one classmate of mine in class likes Kagrra... *cheers*

Hmm...
I'm just done with my PowerPoint presentation thing. Hopefully, all will go well tomorrow. Hope, I won't forget anything.

I was checking out the DOUBLE DECKER website just now and just checking whether they really ship overseas and stuff. And turns out, they do! So, we know that we definitely want their shoes and I went on an investigation spree. For international shipping, they have this thing where it's two pairs for 100USD and surface shipping cost is 30USD. So, if we add in Ray, we have three pairs. They don't accept three pair ordering so... *sheesh*. Anyway, for four pairs, the shipping cost is 45USD. If there's four of us, we'll split it four ways...
It's very confusing, why do they have to work in USD... >.<
So, a fourth person? Anybody want shoes from Japan? And is willing to pay about 60+USD for it?

I had the oddest dream last night EVER!! I dreamt that I was walking with SJ in this back alley. Then, all of a sudden, this mad man came right up and grabbed me from behind. So, we started struggling around a little, SJ ran off to look for help (I know you think I'm manly and all, but can you please just help me in time of need...*lol*). Then, he magically pulled out this HUGE axe and just chopped off my hands. O_O. The weird part is, I didn't feel anything in the dream. It was like 'Oh, you just chopped off my hands, now I have none'. Then after chopping off my hands, the guy just ran off and left me with my hands...and then SJ came back and was all 'OH MY GOD!... So how now?' and I just calmly told her 'Can you get me bandages?', then she brought the bandages and I just bandaged my hands back together... And they worked fine after being disjointed... WTF?!.. The best part is, we then continued walking like nothing happened. O______________O
I'm quite weirded out.
The chopped hands part... I think I'm watching too much Vidoll. Because everytime I watch Vidoll, I remember their awesome photoshoot involving them and body parts. And one of them were biting chopped hands. The weird thing is, my *dream* hands were chopped off at that exact same point.
I swear it's Vidoll.
WHAT IS IT WITH ME AND THESE DREAMS?!
Remember when I dreamed about the wet market selling 'fresh' body parts? And that at the wet market, there was this HUGE sign saying 'STRUGGLING JUST TWO HOURS AGO!'. We are talking about humans struggling here okay.

BORED!

Me : Whoaaaaa~ SKYLINE! Awesome shit~ *____*
Mum : Oh, you want me to drop you?
Me : [?] What for?
Mum : So you can stand by the side and wait for the owner la...
Me : O______O That's embarassing! After see, see old man come then abit..wrong, right?
Mum : No la, if old man come then you don't say anything la, if young man, good looking, then you can talk ma *spoken in chinese*
Me : Sheesh, mum, what are you teaching your daughter??

Ah. Bored. Very. Bored. What. Should. I. Do. Now.

Presentation tomorrow. I need to get the PowerPoint slides ready. Hopefully, everything will go smoothly. *sheesh*. I need to dress up again. This is getting tiring.

Today was okay. Went to school for awhile, painted my surface graphics. I'm half done with that. Hopefully, I'll be done by tomorrow. Then I can cut everything out and stick them together.

_away to eat_

I love sweet things!! *yum*

Followed my mum to KL just now to do something. We were in the building opposite Times Square and I had this very strong urge to run over to Times Square XD. I haven't been there in ages~

Prick your finger it is done
The moon has now eclipsed the sun
The angel has spread his wings
The time has come for better things

Will blog sometime later tonight or something. While I'm taking my break from PowerPoint-ing facts. HISTORICAL facts.

What the heck?!

Just when I thought all was well again, this shit happens! ARGH! Stop making your life a drama, damnit! I think you watched too many Taiwan dramas. Quit it! You're making everybody worried, you butt.

Went to church as usual. Aaah, nothing much to blog about that.

I don't have the mood to eat my lunch now. *sheesh* I've got a very unsettling feeling in the pits of my stomach. I don't know what to do but I must eat, right?

SHIT!!! Annoying piece of nonsense

*insert title of your own choice*

TOSHIYA!!

Oh, I've watched the PV for Agitated Screams of Maggots.
All I can say is, 'Okaaaaayyy'
It's very Dir en grey, one can expect that from them. But, it's just, weird. XD
I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!
Now, I'm waiting for a non-censored version to appear XD.
[I actually do love it, but the weirdness and the whole 'I'm gonna rape your daughter' thing IS weird. You will HAVE to agree with me]

Met up with SJ in MidValley today. Quite late when we met up. About 2 something. I was actually quite weary of going to MidValley cause..
1. School holidays have started so there's bound to be ALOT of people.
2. I was scared of finding a parking.
Well, didn't turn out that bad. I did find a parking in Zone H all the way on the sixth floor. I'm NEVER going back to MidValley. They've got the stupidest parking system I've ever seen in my life.

Had Baskin Robbins today. Mmmm!! World Class Chocolate is the ULTIMATE flavour!
Before that we went to AnimeTech and both of us reserved the same watch. She showed it to me and I loved it just as much as she did so we both just reserved it. Then the guy was saying something about us going to have the same accesory and we were both like 'Uh... *lifts up arms to show matching armbands*' and the guy was all '-.- Oh'. He thought I was lesbian. Thank you very much guy-I-don't-know-the-name-of.
Also in AnimeTech, the guy lifted this box FULL of things Totoro and I went crazy. So now, I have a phonestrap and a thing that's all Totoro. It's cute. XD. I think he was laughing at me when I went crazy over Totoro.

Time Crisis 4 is out! BUT, we didn't play it cause this guy just WOULDN'T die. *sheesh*

I saw the Princess Princess live movie today. HOT GUYS!!! (OMG!)
RYE-CHAN~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DID YOU DOWNLOAD IT????

Photos uploaded (credits to Claireeey's camera)

Camwhoring outside class in between presentations (We were having break)
Usual camwhoring methods at use.
Look at Alex's face.. He looks like he wants to fight.

WTF? XD

Me, Wan Hui and Bryant
Yes, my eyes are closed again.
Bryant was dressed as a vampire for his presentation. Hence, the eyes.
Claireeey, me, Hui Shan and Man Yee (salmon fish)
I was actually planning to ruin their picture by lurking but they took me in.
Me and Claireeey~ Our SS-ing is going down Claireeey.
We didn't SS so much this semester.
When one's with Alex, one wants to act cool. (In my case, angry)
Ting Yi : *poses while holding tie up in the air like a goon*
Lyd : Why can't you pose PROPERLY?? Like a NORMAL person!?
Ting Yi : Okay okay! *smiles with tie still up in the air*
Lyd : GRRRR!! *grabs tie, looks at camera, scowls)
Claireeey : *snap*

On the way back from Japanese class (don't ask about the exam), I saw this accident. Seriously, the accident was, yes, very bad and naturally people WOULD be concerned as to how the driver or passengers are doing. But could you please STAND AWAY FROM THE DAMN ROAD!? They were practically all over the road and the accident only covered one lane.. The other lane were full of people. The cars trying to get past had to climb the curb. Seriously, please be concerned (or buy your 4D numbers) by the curbs, away from the road. It will save the road from being jammed up.

Nat, Shari, SJ!

Remember the time, when SJ and I skipped art class and got into major shit for it?
And then, after that, while I was hitting my head against Nat's table, I wrote something in my notebook and passed it around for you guys to start a written conversation?
Okay, you may not remember, cause I forgot it too, but I found the conversation!
(No, embarassing things)

FROM THIS DAY FORTH LYDIA IS OFFICIALLY DEAD!
Nat : *adds in a NOT in between 'officially' and 'dead'* Don't say that. Think possitive. It might not turn out to be so bad. But just need to plan this. TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE! (is that how you spell it?)
Lyd : YOU'RE RIGHT! I'm not gonna die... I am already dead!!
Nat : Think positive!!
SJ : Yeah! Think positive!!!! Think about it... you don't have to run around with socks!
Lyd : I'd rather run around in socks!! Better than to face the evil wrath of my mum and Toh
Nat : Lyd's right but you still have to think positive, you know!
Lyd : I am trying to think positive but everytime I think of what my mum will do to me, I get scared.
Lyd : Hey, I can't find your writing.. Is it too messy for me to see?
Nat : My writing has always been messy.
Lyd : I agree
Nat : Are you still sad? Don't think it, okay! Keep singing or keep thinking of Lance or James or whoever.
Lyd : I'm not sad... I'm scared.
Nat : Then don't be scared but you look sad. Think positive. Do something to get it off your mind.
Lyd : Like... I still need to tell my mum.
Nat : ^_^ Always smile never cry
Lyd : I see you still remember that.
Nat : Yup! I sure do!
Lyd : I kinda forgot that.. Good memory, keep it up Nat.
Nat : THANKS! I thought my memory was bad... Come to my class for moral or something.
Lyd : I got Pn. Lim... You think she's gonna let? Besides ***** will start yelling again.. Being the bossy person she is.
Nat : Just tell her to f. it (get it... f*** it)
Lyd : I think I got that but Pn. Lim.. I don't wanna get into anymore trouble.
Nat : Right, you better not then.

Then, the part which doesn't appear joined..

Nat : Keep singing if it keeps you happy and gets your mind off all this!
Lyd : I'll try but I've run out of songs... So I am reading about Lance.
Shari : LANCE?*circled and at the side written "Big idiot") Sing all the slow N'SYNC songs.
Lyd : But reading about Lance is great!
Shari : Great for you but I'm not for me. (can't read the rest)
Lyd : You're suppose to be helping me here

Oh, happy times XD

Today we got let off early! Before I went home I went for the modelling thing they are having in our college. They are choosing models for the college brochures. I just went to do it for the fun of it all. If I get chosen, that'll be okay but if I don't, that'll be okay too. It felt weird when they said pose so I just did some really weird pose XD
Today's also the last day of classes for the sem! Next week is consolidation already.

I've got Japanese exam tonight. *sigh*
I got the pictures from the presentation on Wednesday! Will post when Blogger stops being a bitch.

Rose (ex. The TRAX) is in a new band! The Romantist! XD

XD
Today, everybody seemed so chilled! We're all in the pre-consolidation/break mood already.
I didn't get any work done (well, cause I couldn't, forgot to bring anything to do anything.)
I did cut out my foam board pieces. I am not using styrofoam cause cutting the styrofoam is going to be a bitch to my ears.

In a state of panic, what does one do?
Sit very still and not hold any sharp objects.
[Words of advice from Vampyy-sensei]

I've learned to accept news that seems very far-fetched. Because for one thing, you'd never know what may happen out of the blue. I believe things now and I'm not as skeptical or doubtful as before. Maybe that experience with my friend two years ago has made me think that shit does happen and you've just gotta believe it. But when shit happens, always be calm and think rationally.
*sigh*

Wasted butterflies fluttering in my stomach

Spent a good part of the day nervous and anxious about my presentation. And wouldn't you know?
WE ARE ONLY PRESENTING NEXT WEEK!
Why?
Cause there wasn't enough time. Oh well, gives me and Nat time to create our PowerPoint now cause we didn't have anything while everybody had something.

Everybody looked good today XD (for once). Everybody was decked out in formal wear~All black or white. ~Nice!~
So, as usual, we camwhored like nobody's business. It was fun~ [Send me the pictures] I have to do this again cause we are only doing it next week.

I am sleepy as hell. I'm off.

T_T! I'm done with my essays!! I actually get to sleep early today O_O!
I'm overjoyed~!

Ah~ Essays here we come!

I've got loads of essays to fix up to be handed up tomorrow! Gambarimasu! Ossu!!
Ah~Today, I had my Japanese exam. The aural exam not the written exam. It was hard! Well, maybe cause I never studied until the 5 minutes before exam XD. Well, I suppose I did okay.

Tomorrow is presentation! Nat and I making up as witches. I don't even know what I'm going to do with my face. I haven't tried anything yet! Well, I suppose my usual black eyeshadow, thick eyeliner and dark lipstick can work? And loads of mascara! Shit, I still don't have eyebrow pencil! *goes to lend from mum*

Still in love with Setsurenka.

Grr. I don't know why, but I hate it when suddenly, people who NEVER liked anime or manga, start liking it just because they watched Deathnote or Nana. I find it annoying, seriously. I'm probably the ONLY one who feels like this but I just find it a tad annoying. Cause, before, they are all telling me that watching anime is for geeks or reading manga is for people with no life. And suddenly Nana and Deathnote comes out and they're all big fans too. Don't you just find that sorta thing annoying?

Well, I'm off to do assignments. Wish me luck.
[The fat ass and accomplice is still annoying me! Seriously. I'm about to murder them cold]

Annoyed

I HATE THAT FAT ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stupid fucked up asshole.
Everyday IT'S pissing me off with it's manners..no wait, what manners? I don't think it has any. I pity it's parents.
And the ONE next to the fat ass is pissing me off too. Seriously, your jokes are getting dry. SO DRY. I dread listening to them. It's not funny anymore.
The two of you together is my ULTIMATE nightmare! I wouldn't wish the two of you on my worst enemies.

[On the second listen, Agitated Screams of Maggots doesn't sound so bad after all. >_>]

For the moment, my obsession is Setsurenka. Lovely song!
If I EVER date somebody, I want him to sing this song to me!!! Although, this song is about the singer doubting some promise made and I think the lovers are apart (O_O) but still... I think it's romantic! And I want my future boyfriend to sing that song to me!
Don't think it'll happen though, cause people often say I'm like a guy. Which guy would wanna date a guy~ *sigh*
But it's so lovely~ Especially the part where he says something like he remembers them playing in the snow and all...
*dreamy sigh*
And the way he says 'yuki no hana'. I don't know what it means but somebody somewhere said she thinks it's snowflakes..cause yuki no hana means snow's flower. Anyway, I think that phrase itself is nice. The thought of it and imagining snow covered roses swaying in a light snowfall while (HOT) Kamijo is singing in the middle... this song. XD
I LOVE Kamijo. I LOVE his voice. Always puts me in a romantic mood when he sings.
I always feel like falling in love when I listen to Lareine.

Presentation on Wednesday. *urgh*
Nat and I are presenting on Witchcraft. The origins of the witches, the story behind the broomstick and the Salem witch trials.
She wants me to dress as the witch. -.-" Oh well, I wouldn't mind!

Disappointed

I just downloaded Dir en grey's new single, Agitated Screams of Maggots.
I know it's not supposed to be out till the 15th, but, I saw it and couldn't wait so I just looted.
Note that I don't sound hyper or enthusiastic.
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?! (or were they even thinking?)
For the first time, I'm saying that I'm not impressed. There's nothing to the song. I'm serious. It's just a whole lot of screaming. And the screaming is dominating the music. I can barely hear anything. I actually didn't mind Ryoujoku no Ame... why couldn't they stick to that kind of sound? Even though it was still noisy. This new single is worse than Clever Sleazoid (which was worse than Saku)
Remember me saying that I don't think I'll see a day where I dislike a Dir en grey release? Well, forget that. I'm seeing the day today.
Hopefully, after listening to it another time (when I'm in the mood to) I'll actually see some good points in it. I'm sure there is, cause I believe Dir en grey can compose good music. They just love to experiment WAY TOO MUCH.
And to top it all off, the song is only around 2 minutes long.

Today, during class, we did Keith Haring style art. It was fun! It was kinda like onsite drawing and we (the ten or more people under my name in the namelist) were placed outside at the guard house. So we did the buildings.
No idea what Keith Haring's style is?

That's it. It was fun cause the colours were all flat and we didn't have to blend or anything like that. And the figures were, well, like you see them now.
Quite fun and since our paintings were seperate but when you join them, they're supposed to be a continous thing, the end result was quite nice to see.

It's my last week in college for the second semester!
SEMESTER BREAK!!

Blogging by pictures

Lareine
Setsurenka is affecting my emotional well-being. I should stop repeating the song XD. It may lose it's meaning if I keep listening to it obsessively... but I can't help it cause I just find the song so fucking beautiful and the meaning is really nice. If you want to know the meaning, I posted the translations in the previous post.
Picture on the left is Kamijo of Lareine. Yes, the dude with the heavenly voice.
I wonder why some people are just blessed with such beautiful voices while some others just croak like a frog with a sore throat (me). His voice does wonders to my emotions XD. It's something like X-Japan when I first listened to their Crucify my Love (thanks to my sister repeating it in my ear countless times)

This is Touya. Does he look ANYTHING like sushi?
No, right?
Then why is it that everytime I see anything from Charlotte, all he has to do is appear, and I feel like eating sushi?
This is all very confusing and I think we should all give it some thought. You know why? Cause I'm very hungry and I'm craving for sushi right now.
What is it about his face (besides the fact that he is so hot) that makes me think SUSHI?
He's cute but sushi ain't cute... -.-

AnCafe makes me dance!
*Does a little dance*
My latest SHOXX (or Cure) has AnCafe in it.. And Kanon is grinning! SOOO cute!
SJ and I were drooling for quite awhile staring at Kanon. Then we started arguing over who likes him more XD All in good fun. I think Kanon is the only guy we BOTH think is hot. Usually, we like different types of guys.

Deathnote is awesome and everybody should go watch it now.

Although, the ending was abit, hanging.. It was an evil cliff hanger!! But, the show was good (though the manga was way better) and Misa Misa was actually Misa Misa (XD). SO alike. And I swear, the whole Misa Misa thing got to SJ so much, as we were boarding the LRT, she was talking about the Men Pocky. She said 'Men Pocky Pocky'... XD!
But the day was fun! I really missed talking with SJ in that way. We just went on and on and on. There was no quiet moment today ^_^.
While in KFC (for lunch), I tried to get her to camwhore with me and she declined (urgh) so I just decided to snap pictures anyway. Won't post them but I'll post one ^_~

What you see in the hand is my half eaten nugget. XD
She very willingly agreed to take a lezzie picture with me (I wonder why)
And her hair is curled! She seriously should have curled her hair earlier. It makes her look older (hence, not so small). I think she looks quite good with it. Like her mum said, at least now people will ask her 'How was SPM?' instead of 'How was PMR?'
And her latest thing is to say 'butt'. Everybody was a butt, everything is a butt today.

Bringing the hands together in the night breeze
I wish I can be by your side forever

Flowers that have been shining called the winter night
The season that I walked with you turned into the song of eternal snow

It is impossible to return to the blissful moment
The *blooms of the eternal snow…
Without leaving me, always, always continue to live in me…

Chasing after you while playing with the night breeze
I wish I can be by your side forever

I have been searching for the words while looking at the figure behind me
Hiding my thoughts like your smile that will not disappear

Believing that will turn into courage
The blooms of the eternal snow…
Quietly, quietly, it becomes a star that keeps protecting without destroying it

Some day if we could reborn
Will the disappearing promise be fulfilled?
The blooms of snow soar
The life of everyone turns and able to meet

It is impossible to return to the blissful moment
The blooms of the eternal snow…
Always, always, keep talking without forgetting

Believing that will turn into courage
The blooms of the eternal snow…
Quietly, quietly, it will shine without destroying

Turning into a star that protects snow
The song that is about falling in love with the snow
Keep living for the sake of the snow
Become a star…
Become a star…

Confusing emotions

Oh my Gackt! I CANNOT watch Lareine's Setsurenka PV for the love of God!
Dekinai dekinai!
I CANNOT.. Absolutely CANNOT! I keep crying!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel like a fucking emo kid now!
The fact that the song is so emotional, beautiful, wonderful, splendid etc. is one of the reasons. The other BIG reason is that the video has clips of them LIVE and it's just not very nice to know that they've disbanded and seeing Kamijo and Mayu do the pinky promise on stage really broke my tear barriers. I don't know why. I'm sobbing like a... sobbing ass!

To dry up my tears, I'm watching this clip called Phantasmagoria Weak Point Conquering Plan, where they put Iori (I think) on roller coasters to cure his fear. Oh gosh! I don't think I've ever seen him like this. Gone is the cool face! Now, he's whimpering like a little girl and can't even stand XD Kisaki is evil. (that is if the red haired one is even Kisaki, should be). First they put him on some puny ride that isn't even scary. Then they made him go on this HUGE ASS roller coaster which goes up and down more times than an elevator in a day. And he started whimpering...XD The part where he's sitting on the floor and going all 'kowaii..' cracks me up like mad. Oh man! Now, I'm laughing like a looney on crack! All sadness forgotten!

Genki ni natta~!

I was just thinking about my 'date' with SJ tomorrow.
And I suddenly got very excited and happy. I can't wait to go out!
I miss her that much (no lezzie intonations here).

There's a spider crawling on my sister's laptop. *shivers*
I can't stand seeing spiders but I have a strange fascination for looking at them.
I'm one screwed up woman.

Downloading Gazette's Regret video now! I'm very outdated with Gazette XD.

KLCC tomorrow!! I'm excited and happy!! I can't wait~

In pain..again

Just when I thought my recent foot injury is over and the pain of walking like a normal being and not a penguin is over... I had to kick my toe into the back of Ray's shoe. And now, the nail is split in two and hurting like a bitch. I wrapped a plaster around it TIGHT to lessen the blood circulation and hence, stopping the blood flow (XD) and I just sat outside listening to Ray bitch about a certain bastard in class... on the floor.

I FINALLY managed to get D's Tafel Anatomie two days ago. (I'm a happy girl)
I managed to find Blood's new maxi-single. There's a song called Danse Macabre! I remember I love to play that song on the piano. I'm not sure if the tune is the same (don't think so).

Weekend... come soon!
I'm gonna go out with SJ this weekend! After being all emo about missing her yesterday, I gave her a call and just as I was about to say 'Let's go out!'... she asked me whether I wanted to go out this weekend. XD We're gonna watch Deathnote! I don't know how to expect the movie, seriously. In the manga, Light is supposed to be the hot gorgeous one, but in the movie, he looks weird~ Very weird. Whereas, L is supposed to look weird with the black rings under the eyes and all, but in the movie he looks gorgeous (same actor who plays Shin in Nana 1). Oh well, at least Ryuk looks like Ryuk. I wanna see the other two Shinigami too! I can't wait till the next Deathnote comes out.

I'm on a Lareine high. I know they're already disbanded and all that (don't remind me about it, I'll cry). I've been listening to their songs since I came home. I really love Lareine! Kamijo!

I totally forgot about Michelle coming back from Australia for holidays!! I forgot it's November this month and that she was coming down in November. That is, until Nat told me they were all meeting in Asia Cafe next Wednesday and told me whether I wanted to come. Obviously! And I'm bringing my lezzie buddy along XD.

I need some excitement in my life. Let's go burn a few buildings.

Signs of depression : When you start to look at pictures taken two years ago and remembering.

>__________<
I feel like a very stupid Dir en grey fan now.
Their single is only coming out on the 15th. *sheesh*

I'm feeling very depressed now. I have no idea why.
(I'm suspecting the Akuro no Oka and Silver Ash that I have on repeat)
I don't know why but this time round, I'm not on the suicidal side of depression. I'm just depressed. My stomach is feeling funny (you know how you get that when you're feeling sad?). I'm beginning to miss SJ. I've not seen her in ages. I NEED TO SEE HER!

I miss having her around me everyday.
I miss having to be able to turn around and just talk to her in class.
I miss having to copy her homework everyday cause I'm never bothered to complete mine.
I miss cutting class with her and then getting into trouble for it.
I miss eating her Twisties behind our maths teacher's back.
I miss her complaning my desk is way too messy and that I need to clean it up.
I miss injuring her on a daily basis.
I miss her complaning about people in general to me everyday.
I miss trying to sleep in class without her waking me up.
I miss us arguing on who is the hotter hunk in a magazine.
I miss her coming round to my house and just laze around.
I miss us talking about our hopes and dreams for the future.
I miss talking about moving out together and staying together.
I miss talks of our band.
I miss our talks on our current obsessions.
I miss getting into what she's into and she getting into what I'm into.
I miss fighting the prefects and teachers (sometimes) with her.
I miss us trying to outdo each other in insulting each other.
I miss her random outburts of weirdness.
I miss us pretending to be lezzie just to piss Nat and Shari off everyday.
I miss going out to MidValley almost every other weekend with her.
I miss her insulting me when I go on about how I hate my looks.
I miss her telling me Toshiya is a chick and that I need to start liking guys.
I miss when she had a blog (*hint* restart it SJ).
I miss her always complaining about having no transport to where ever we were meeting.
I miss her constant obsessions for buying good reads.
I miss trying to get her to camwhore with me.
I miss trying to get her to go purikura-ing with me.
I miss sitting in Waffle World talking about our band and writing band problems on napkins.
I miss her big-headed tendencies.
I miss bugging her for the latest releases in the Jrock world that I don't have.

I don't know why I started thinking about it. I haven't seen her in close to a month now. That's a record considering we bug each other to go out after just one week. Sometimes, I wonder if we'll be as close as we are now if I stayed in Form Six. I wonder if we'll still be talking to each other like this. *sigh*.
I'm somebody who considers close friends as a very important thing (normal friends is a different story altogether). And with SJ, man, she's more than just a close friends. No, I don't mean lezzie.
I really miss being around SJ.

Again in school~

I could actually go online yesterday night cause I HAD NOTHING TO DO!!! But, I chose to watch anime with my sister for the entire night... just because. I absolutely love Tactics! It's so cute~ o(^_^)o And the whole ghostly thing is just awesome.

Deathnote is coming out soon! SJ? We DO have a date to go right? Cause, I absolutely have to see Ryuk live... although he's just CG... but you know what I mean.

Lately, I've been very easily annoyed, especially by one very special individual. (Don't ask why)

I'm actually supposed to be doing my essay right now. We got back our drafts from Ms. Michelle and she told me to improve my introduction (because it doesn't state why he was an important artist..urgh) and just about everything else. As you can tell, I'm not doing it right now. I'm trying to relax at the moment (thank you very much) and I wish to slack off just a little while more before going home to do my sketch model. *gah*

I've had close to NO obsessions lately (*applause*) which is quite an achievement for me considering I develop some new weird obsession on a daily basis. Maybe this is because I haven't been online for more than three days already (record breaking amount of days for me). I feel like going home now. I'm bored. I wanna go home! I wanna sleep... *sheesh*

It's almost the 11th of November! The Dir en grey single comes out on the 11th right?
I'm so outdated! I remembered 11. Is it 11? Or 12? *sheesh*. My memory fails me at important moments like this.

I think I'll go home now. I'm bored anyway.
I need to get my CD back from Ray. I'm seriously lacking music in my car. All I have are the old CDs which I'm already bored of listening to. I wonder if he's burned it.

Blogging from school!

-____________________________________-"
Had a long night! Gah~ Haven't slept well for almost two weeks. (And haven't blogged for two weeks XD)
Thank God my mum stayed up with me (I love you, Mum, although you won't read this cause you have no idea I have a blog). I only finished my stupid project at 3 something nearing 4.
I'm so damn tired, I'm not even high anymore. *sheesh*

My Japanese class exam is on the 17th of November *freaks*.
Judging from my 'very good vocabulary memory', this exam will be memorable.
After this, I'm going on to Intermediate 2... where I learn kanji (on my own)

I WANT TO SLEEP!!!!!!

I need to go to KLCC, NOW! SJ?! Where are you? Go with me... Gah~ English is now cause the first class has just ended. Gotta go~

Sometimes, I wish I could be like Sid Vicious.
Live a life of sex, drugs and rock (and not roll XD).
Cut the sex out though.
I don't know why but I just feel like completely going wild and doing something so wrong that I'll offend half the world. Don't you get those urges sometimes? Well, I do. For one, I hate the fact that people think that we all live to please them ONLY and they feel free to comment on everything they think is wrong about you. Well, grow up assholes!
(No, nobody offended me XD Just felt like being emo)
But of course, if I were to be like Sid Vicious, my life will end at 21 and it'll end with a nice finale of murder, trials and suicides (dripping with drugs). Everytime I see or read things about Sid Vicious and his girlfriend, it makes me kinda depressed and sad. They really loved each other (I think) and I just don't know who's side of the story to believe. Well, I won't choose cause they're both dead already as it is and we'll just let them rest in peace.

One day, when I move out and live on my own and have complete freedom, I won't be the same anymore. I do not like the me now. (I've never liked me). I find myself my worst enemy. As awful as it is, it's the truth. And no, this isn't one of those I'm-insulting-myself-just-to-get-you-to-praise-me schemes. I do not like praises. Note that I can't reply when you praise me I just nod my head and say thank you and people always think I'm being snobby.
Well, it's not like I have ALL the time in this damn world to be snobby at you. AGAIN, it's a matter of people thinking the world revolves around them. Why would I be snobby? What do I gain from it? What's the point?

Is it me or am I being exceptionally emo today?
I think it's Yoshiki's music. He always manages to bring up such feelings in me with his orchestra music. Especially Red Christmas and Ima o Dakishimete. It's such beautiful music. (Don't ask how beautiful music can make me sarcastic and pissy). It just makes me think about life and how I'm living it and when I think about my life, I don't see anything good in it and that's what makes me feel pissy.

Erm, is Marilyn Manson MARRIED?
Don't ask where I heard this but it's shocking. HIM? Married? Okay, I'm not stereotyping here, alright. It's just weird XD.
If he is, I'd love to check his wedding out~ Imagine how it'll be!

Hello there...

*waves from beyond the grave*

I haven't been blogging much lately, huh?'
I've been VERY busy. Well, that and I was lazy too.

I am right now, at this very moment, missing a piece of skin from my foot. ^_^
I did a little split in the bathroom yesterday morning and my foot scratched the inside corner of the shower area. Inside. Not outside. So, the missing piece is in an L shape.
I can't walk properly now cause that whole area is a little bruised and stretching my foot only makes it worse.
No, I did not split on purpose.
And they said they installed non-slip tiles. If those tiles are non-slip I'm the second Marilyn Manson.

Yesterday was quite a day for me. The last time I had a day like that was last year thinking about SPM.
I was quite stressed (that does not need mention. It's obvious) and I was being pissy at everybody. Then my mum asked me what was wrong with me cause I was feeling nauseated and I was feeling very feverish and just wanted to sit down (that and I looked like I just saw the grim reaper). So, I started telling her why I THINK I was feeling that way and it ended up with me crying.
I CRIED.
*sheesh*
I feel stupid now, but my mum was telling me to just scream and shout (and not throw or ruin things) when I feel like this cause it will make me feel better.
I hate crying. It makes me feel wimpy. Crying is wimpy.

Sister: Eh, Dad, what do you think if I dyed half my hair red?
Dad: No.
Me: Dude, I have asked them before, remember? I wanted half my hair blue.
Dad: No. All you of don't need to do that. We (him and my mum) don't need to be STARTLED INTO LIFE like that.
Mum: We ARE getting on in age.

-_________________-"
I hope you understand what my dad meant by us startling them into life.

I'm taking a break tonight. I need to relax. I'm going to start on my FA tomorrow. Urgh. I left my cartridge paper in school! I hope I can go back in time to take it. If there are people in school tomorrow. If the door is open tomorrow. Oh crap. I'm afraid. I can't believe I left it in school!
*bakabakabakabakabakabakabakabakabakabakabakabaka!*

I'm currently obsessed with Marilyn Manson's Mobscene.
"I hate you more than life itself! I hate you more than I hate myself!"
XD. Look, this is me we're talking about okay. I won't like any song which goes...
"I love you more than life itself! I love you more than I love myself"
Please. -.-
The opening of Mobscene reminds me a little of Dir en grey's Byou Shin. The guitar effects are very similar but of course, that's me and of course, Dir en grey is Dir en grey and they're awesome in their own way.
Nothing can beat how similar Panic Channel's Kodoku Mousou (Is it?) sounds like Dir en grey's Ash.

The other day, I went crazy in the computer lab and decided to print pictures of Jrockers XD.
So now I have Dir en grey, Shin, Kagrra, Panic*CH, Asagi, Alice Nine, Lareine and one more I forgot. Now, I think I may need to top up my printing credit.

I'm downloading Kagrra no Su episode 36 right now! It's the filming of Utakata and Sabeki Promotional Video.
O(^_^)O...\o\ \o/ /o/
Can't wait to watch Sabeki. I'm waiting and waiting. How come I've never heard of this song?
Is it out? I'm outdated!