I'm feeling really..depressed now.
I'm not too sure why but it happened while I was watching this documentary shit on Norwegian Black Metal.
If you guys didn't know..Norway is where the whole black metal scene really made it big and some say it originated from there. I dunno. Anyway, they are interviewing Gaahl from Gorgoroth and there's something about the vibes that Gaahl sends out when talking about Christianity that is eerie. I mean, being a Christian, let's just say I'm not agreeing about his ideas.
You know, my Mum always disapproves of the music I listen to because of it's occasional negative messages and she always says that the more I listen to it, the more it's idealogy would affect me. This video right here, they keep talking about the black metal band's idealogy and there's something very intriguing about it. No, I'm not renouncing my faith but it's just, the more you listen to them, the more curious you get and the more curious I get, the more I want to learn about it. And I know, that if I learn more about it, I get influenced/affected by it.
I'm sorta feeling like.. I dunno, how do you put it?
I've always been interested in why people turn to the devil instead of God. Maybe they don't like the restrictions religion put on them.. I dunno.
But the more I watch this, the more I think about it, the more down I'm feeling. Like, all the 'happies' get sucked away.
Especially when they were talking about Gaahl being charged for torture-like-violence. Supposedly, he tortured this guy for hours and collected his blood in a cup and threatened the guy to drink it.
When I heard that I think the blood from my face just flowed away. I don't know but I'm just wondering why somebody can actually be capable of things like that and not feel anything. And due to my over-active imagination and brain I put myself in the victims shoes and it DID NOT feel good.
Eventhough they were so sick and obviously had too much time on their hands, I can't help but feel interested in their lifestyles.
Am I turning sick?
And he said that the only God anybody should listen to is the God within yourself.
You know, it's people like him that is capable of bringing people over to the dark side. Cause he says it all without blinking an eye or without flinching or stammering. It just flows out so smoothly and convincingly.
And I'm going to assure the potential Christians that are reading this again that yes, I'm going to church tomorrow. I'm not turning into a satanist.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Honestly, I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight thinking about this.