I called Chris yesterday at the peak of my sadnosity. While crying, sobbing etc. over the phone, all of a sudden, out of her silentness, she yelled 'LYDIA LOH! STOP CRYING, YOU BODOH! YOU ARE STRONGER THAN THIS, I KNOW YOU ARE!'. And even though I was still sobbing like what she calls a 'bodoh' (stupid), I was actually quite shocked. I think yesterday was a day of firsts for us. She said she's never heard me cry like that and can't even begin to picture it... and I've never heard her yell like that at me before. Anyway, after that talk, I cried myself into a deep nap (due to lack of sleep the night before) and woke up with my second sister hovering over me telling me to go downstairs for dinner. And I did. And my mum noticed my swollen eyes. After dinner she came to me and said 'Your eyes are swollen. Like you've been... crying? Have you?' and I'm not one who can lie straight to my mum, especially when she's very concerned. So I told her everything. Not everything but most. And, this is the part that I love badly about her, she said 'Dear, in life there'll always be meetings and partings like this'. No yelling! Anyway, she comforted me for awhile, while I sobbed silently, and then she kissed me on the forehead and went down to our basement. After that, I went to sleep early.
I woke up this morning with a really bad stomach and it made me so giddy I couldn't walk straight. I crashed into my boxes, I walked into the door, and then I fell before I entered the bathroom. I think it's the pre-period feeling, you know? I went back to bed after my failed attempt to wake up and I broke out in cold sweat.
I woke up awhile later and the first thing I thought of was him. And surprisingly (even to me), I didn't tear up. To test myself, I stared at the picture of me and him.. and I didn't cry. In fact, the feeling in me was more towards, not the fact that I won't see him anymore, but more towards the nice time he gave me. And it made me smile instead of cry.
Then I met up with Chris and SJ for lunch and I cheered up a little bit more.
The thing about me, which sucks, is that I seem to be able to get over things a little bit quickly, in sense of showing my emotions freely, and so people think that I never did feel very much to begin with. I think, though, that'll it'll take me more than this to get over it completely. Every other month, when I am PMS-ing, I will think about it and cry, okay.
Anyway, I've reminded myself about the good things about being single and I'm already feeling better.
I have learned a lesson from all this, though. Never say 'Oh God, why can't there be drama in my life?' or 'When am I gonna get a guy?'. You might just get what you wish for. Seriously. I'm living prove. And I'm not happy about it.
Thanks Don for your tag.. :) I am feeling better~ Talk to you soon, 'kay?
Rye-chan~ I can always depend on you to pull me up from a pit, huh? Thank you~
Steph jie.. Thanks for the comment yesterday. I DO know Daniel is emo-ing for me.

Crap, I have to restart my computer. Stupid Windows Live. I had to update the crappy shit and now it won't work and I had to re-install it and now I have to restart. If I didn't love chatting online so much I wouldn't be bothered!