Finally found a place that sells affordable Gundams thanks to EeShen.. :D
And I got.... BB#288 Strike Freedom which is this.
This is the chibi-fied version of....
...the one my brother wants.. (I like the Force Noir from the same series, I think)
The blue wings can be expanded like a peacock.

Now, I really want the SD (super deformed.. which is the same as the tiny one above) Zaku.

Told my brother I saw the lightning edition of the Strike Freedom and he practically screamed like a little girl over the phone.

Got my Wing Zero from EeShen over dinner yesterday.. at the same time he also gave me a bunch of other things... The Revoltech was awesome with all the guns and stuff.
I'm gonna assemble the Strike Freedom SD first.. Then the HG.. and then I'll tackle the Pearl Gloss Version MG Wing Zero..
If you, like everybody else, is right now wondering why I have two Wing Zeros.. I'll tell you.. that among the hundred different kinds of Gundams.. I love the Wing Zero and Deathscythe Hell the most. Even if there's like a Pearl Version, Clear Version, Metallic Version, SD Version, Pastel Version etc.. (some are my own inventions).. I would try to get them all.
Like I said, I'm not a someone who collects everything for the sake of having everything.. I want the ones I love only... like I would never wanna get Seraphim... too skinny.
And right now.. I want Zaku-II... SD!

Proof that we're not 100% up above

+YukiRye+ [Miracles May] says:
hellowXD
Lydia says:
yellow
+YukiRye+ [Miracles May] says:
mellow
Lydia says:
swallow
+YukiRye+ [Miracles May] says:
wallow
Lydia says:
pillow
+YukiRye+ [Miracles May] says:
marrow
Lydia says:
follow
+YukiRye+ [Miracles May] says:
........ my head hurts now
Lydia says:
HAHAHAHA
i WIN!
+YukiRye+ [Miracles May] says:
FINEEE

Self censorship is only fun when it's self-inflicted.
When it isn't, it isn't fun.

TingFung the LouGong came over this morning to FINALLY take his magazines. Which means, now, I have money. Which means... I have to meet EeShen soon to get my Gundam Wing Zero!!!! :D
I think my Gundam-joy has infected my brother. He's very into the Gundam Strike Force now.

I watched Inception today.
I don't think I've been so immersed in a movie since.. V for Vendetta.
It was mind blowingly... intriguing.
More than the story, I was intrigued by the idea of manipulating dreams to suit one's needs and desires.
Reality and dreams can be so different yet, so similar.
Anything can be reality as long as you, or your subconscious, wants it to be.
Would you give up reality, for joy and comfort?
Cillian Murphy was a great source of joy.
I told Donovan "If I whack you, then the guy on the screen is Cillian Murphy"
He said "If I whack you back then you are whacking me too much"
Thanks.
Cillian Murphy's first appearance was in a picture with his on-screen father. I whacked Donovan and gave out a squeal
He pointed at the old man and said "That one?"
-_____________-"
Anyway, the end really just blew me away.
I was already grabbing onto Donovan's arm in suspense and then when it ended I swear I was just short of biting his arm.
It was so... WOW.
Go watch Inception.
But, warning, don't go in expecting something... because you WON'T get it.

EeShen gave me a really awesome website over Facebook today.
http://www.unitedcutlery.com/
Go check it out.
I swear, you won't be disappointed.
The saddest part is, I probably can't bring any of these into the country..
But here's what I want.
The Sands of Time Dagger from Prince of Persia
Dastan's Black Shamsir
Kratos' Blade.. from God of War (This is a limited edition thing which is SOLD OUT)
G.I Joe Storm Shadow Katana
Devil May Cry Red Queen Sword.. Nero's
NAZGUL SWORD. Yes, I love Nazguls.
Narsil.. I actually prefer the shards but I couldn't find the picture.. Yes, they have the shards version.. Just imagine this one.. in pieces.
The dagger/sword Bilbo gave Frodo
High Elven warrior shields! Can you imagine the badassery (or geekery depending on the person) that comes with having this on your wall?
Gondorian shields. I do like the shields more than the swords.

Went to the Toy Fair today.
Was okay.
Wasn't great.. but I did see my Snow Trooper :D
I like Snow Troopers very much.
(If you have no idea why I like 'em so much, go Google an image or something)

Rye(bread)-chan and I bought a few button badges that were so adorable, we couldn't resist.
I almost pre-ordered the Ezio (Assassin's Creed) figurine.. but it was RM420!! EZIOOO!
...

Also saw EeShen... helping a friend man a booth.
Was abit of a surprise as we were in his booth. Lol.
Ended up having lunch together..

Also bought Yoshitaka Amano's The Tale of Genji artbook today.
*kyaa*
I owe Rye(bread)-chan RM20 now.
Favourite lines in the book is - "I would surrender my life if only you would grant me more time to bid him farewell"..
Wakamurasaki/Murasaki-no-ue is probably the most tragic character and therefore, my favourite.
And not to be crude or mean but Genji was kind of a slut.
He might've been a 'bishounen' but he didn't need to take total advantage of it.

Now, I'm watching Ninja Turtles.. Wheee~! There's eight turtles!

OH MY GENESIS THEY KILLED JULIAN!

...

Oh, right.
I knew that.
I've known that for 9 years.
I've known that even while forgetting what the title of the book was.

...

So why do I still cry?

...

Such a sucker.

Joy. Glee. Happiness. Excitement. Exhiliration. Continue, please?

SJ told me about this and we kept wondering if we should get it or not...
It's a pre-order limited edition thing.

My sister helped us pre-order it with her card!!! :D :D

I'm so happy!
I can't wait for it to arrive!

We cleaned up my lil corner of junk

And my Mum has discovered the proper way to get a hilarious reaction out of me.
By playing on my fear/hate of lizards.
(I hate them alive and I hate them dead)

Mum: The spiders are strong.. they run so fast.
Me: Are they mutated? Green? Bubbly?
Mum: Don't be surprised to see lizard eggs.
Me: *Scream*
Mum: They'll be hatched, don't worry.
Me: *Scream*
Mum: They mama won't be around
Me: *Scream*

I swear my grandmother wanted to shut me up.
It wasn't just screaming that was the problem, I was throwing everything off my hands and running off.

Then I was feeling around a paper bag and felt some strange brown object at the bottom..
Me: Mum.. WHAT IS THAT?
Mum: ... a dead lizard.
I think I absolutely fainted.
It was a hardened rubber band that has been squashed and she found it really amazing to discover that I ran into the bathroom and was practically scrubbing the skin off my hands.

:O

Rye-chan! Chooi Yee! Yuki! Whatever name you go by!
THE ENDING OF MW IS SO AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Did you read it?

Of all the things!

It started as a simple phone call with my darling Masayo-chan yelling out of the other line...

"GIRL! SLASH! MALAYSIA! AUDITION TO OPEN! FREE?"

I say - "What?"
She repeats - "We need a bassist for the audition to open for Slash at his concert. Can?"

And you know what?

Can't.

I almost jumped straight into it without thinking .. which I would've done a few years ago.
I asked - "When?"
She says - "In three days"

1. Too last minute.. because~
2. I haven't really touched my bass in a long time

I was sulking and my Mum was yelling out the door "IT JUST ISN'T MEANT TO BE!"

I shall now go sulk somewhere else.
You know, if it was in a few more days, I might have.. you know, because it will give me more time to pick up my bass and analyse just how crap I now am and fix it but if it's in three days, which means practicing and all will have to take place in these three days then I shouldn't go into it and drag everybody down.
It's just depressing to know that back when I was actively doing the band thing, there was no such opportunity but now that I have sworn off it.. there is.
Maybe it's as my Mum yelled.
I'll go sulk now.
While hugging Gorgeous.
*sigh*

Last night, Nut and I cooked dinner to celebrate SJ's birthday... 2 months late.
Nut's parents and sister joined us for the 'festivities'..
I made some simple chicken with mushroom sauce, rustled up some salad and made a berry parfait for dessert.
I would say that my parfait making has improved since Christmas :)
It's nice to cook.
It really is.
Except that you get the inevitable "You'll make a good wife/mother"
:S Which is not really in my 50 year plan!
I've planned until retirement and I haven't included marriage OR children in it.

And oh, to Nut and SJ, how DID Nanny McPhee end? XD

I really want to watch Inception.
I was going on and on about it this afternoon and my Mum had to ask "Is this Cillian Murphy... hot?" (You can guess who and what was the focal point of my explanation)
And for awhile there, I thought about it.
Hm.
He isn't your stereotypical hot guy. No. At least, I don't think so.
He isn't even a pretty boy.
He isn't particularly muscle-y.
And then, it dawned on me, that whenever I picture Cillian Murphy.. I only see his eyes.

Those gorgeous blue eyes that... strangely, enough(!) reminds me of Julian in that book I'm currently obsessed with. (Which is kinda weird, I think because when I started reading it again, the moment Julian appeared, I thought of Cillian Murphy)
Ice blue eyes that pierce. Sometimes, I find, almost white and sometimes gray.
I don't think I'm the only one who has fallen in love with his eyes.
The first time I noticed how gorgeous they were... The amused, maniacal eyes that Dr. Crane had whenever the gears in his head start to move.
And then the innocent but cheeky, sometimes desperate and sad eyes in Breakfast on Pluto..
And then we have the murderous eyes in Red Eye..
Don't get me started.
It was probably one of the best cinematic experiences for me.
So then, I figured out what about Cillian Murphy that I find so extremely gorgeous. Because I always just thought it was HIM and not just a part of him.
And I do focus on those eyes alot...
The bottomline is, I probably just really love his eyes.
And then there's the fact that he is a fantastic actor.

Who wants to watch Inception with me?

The roads in Shah Alam look completely different at night.
With SJ and Rye-chan in the car, we completely missed a curb and climbed it.
No shit.
We climbed a curb.
SJ went "Lyd!"
Rye-chan went "Lyd!"
I went "CURB!"
(No, I didn't)
Anyway, even now, I feel so lucky. If the curb was ANY higher, shit would have happened.
According to Rye-chan that road goes two ways but halfway through, goes only one way. Huh? Didn't quite understand that.
For many years, I have driven to Bon Odori, for many years I have gotten LOST on the way home.
Roads do look completely different at night.

Anyway, Bon Odori 2010.
Asahi Fest.
For me.
I drank. And drank.
And then, we had dinner in Asia Cafe.
It was business as usual with Rye-chan, SJ with her Pocari Sweat and me with my Asahi.
Except, this year, the crowd was reduced to three and we were shouting, excitedly, about yaoi plotlines. We already have chapter 1 & 2 :D (Rye-chan, SJ, refresh my memory.. I have forgotten!)
We took pictures, as usual SJ goes "You're so damn white"
I remember, a few years ago, I forced Rye-chan to take and re-take the picture with me because I was darker than her and she was pale as a ghost. Things have changed.
Another thing is, the crowd this year.. seems to have grown in size.
All three of us said the same thing upon arriving.
"Is it me or has the crowd doubled?"
"Whoa! Why're there so many people?"
"There are alot of people"
I also briefly met up with Claire, Raymond, SeoHun, WeiTheng, YuanHooi, uh, somebody else I forgot (I'm sorry).
Mucked around with them for abit.
And then continued drinking.

Finished reading the first book in The Forbidden Game.
Aaah, Julian is just as awesome as I remember him to be.
I always thought I found this fictional shadow prince awesome due to my teenage hormones that, at 13, was starting to spiral out of control.
9 years later and the story is the same! I still find him awesome, hot etc. and I still think Jenny was an idiot for not choosing him! Does that mean my hormones are STILL spiraling out of control?
BUT! I'm not alone in this for I know Rye-chan still finds Julian hot as well.
And we both agree Jenny was an idiot for letting that go XD

I actually fell asleep upon arriving home and then I woke up with a tummy ache.
Me thinks I went to sleep too fast so the food I had didn't properly digest.
Anyway, I had the most God-awful dream ever.
I dreamt I was going up on stage to receive my certificate only to discover that I made a mistake and I didn't actually pass.
I'm so shaken up now I cannot go back to sleep.
No, I swear, I'm not joking when I say I am still stressed about results.
I'm so afraid that at any moment, someone's gonna turn around and say "Oops, we made a mistake!"
D:

Came home tired and passed out on the bed.
Woke up later to my tummy hurting.
*urgh*

I just read that Daisuke (ex. Kagerou, the studs) has passed away..
From what, initially reports state, to be a deadly concoction of sleeping pills and alcohol that was, apparently could have been used to cure his severe insomnia.
The feeling is... numbing.
I do not know what to feel.
Through that, I discovered that, while I was out of the JRock loop, Jasmine You passed away last year in August.
Again, I do not know what to feel.
Both are from bands that I like.. both are great musicians.

Coming up the escalator, I noticed a familiar figure on the promotional poster for the movie Inception.
I look, and looked harder.
The hair. The posture. THE FACE.
I say "OH MY GOD CILLIAN MURPHY" in typical fangirl manner.
Claire stares at me.
I get frantic and start scratching at his image on the poster "ISN'T IT ISN'T IT? IT'S CILLIAN MURPHY!".. I look at the cast credits.. "OH MY GOD IT IS!!!"
That's what I said verbally. What I said mentally was a little bit more vulgar and consisted of "IN A SUIT!"
I love men in suits, it can be considered a fetish, almost.
Cillian Murphy in a suit is beyond sex and pornography.

In case you don't know, my love for Cillian Murphy is very great.
(Pronounce the C as a K)
[And yes, I don't keep track of what movie he is in]
Point in case, Batman. I didn't know he played Dr. Crane until I watched it a few years later and saw those eyes under those glasses and I nearly woke the house up in the middle of the night.
Reaction was similar to today's reaction - consisted of alot of blasphemy and yelling.

Those great blue eyes!
*dies of nosebleeds*
If you think my reaction now is bad, watch me watch him speak in his Irish accent. I go absolutely crazy and will, I swear, spontaneously combust.

I'm so gonna watch Inception NEXT!

Watched Despicable Me with Claireeey today.
Agnes is so cute!! She's so fantastically crazy and a few marbles short!
Her love for unicorns reminds me of my love for bunnies (i.e It's so fluffy I wanna die!)
I cried. I will be the first to admit, I cried.
I cried at Rugrats Lost in Paris so I was totally expecting to cry here.
I kept grabbing for Claire's hand but it was impossible as Claire was buried under a blanket!
My favourite part of the movie was the Bank of Evil. Under the sign is a little-er sign that reads "Formerly known as Lehman Brothers".
!!!
What a kick in the crotch.
Ouch!
And the minions! Where do I sign to purchase me a few of those?
I swear I won't try to squash them for soy milk!
They are so adorable! I wanna bite 'em!

Assassin's Creed is fun.
It is.
Especially when you have to explain to my Mum what it's about..
- "What's the game? What do you do?"
- "There. Look. You kill Christians."
And then you wait for the inevitable 'look'.. the kind of look that is meant to send you running to Church but you know doesn't work anymore.

Take that, bitch

Unfortunately, the fun ends when you spend a couple of hours a day playing it only to discover the game is immensely SHORT and the ending SUCKS BUTT (and not in a good way, either)

The game at hand is the release for the Nintendo DS. Assassin's Creed: Altair's Chronicles, that is supposed to serve as the prequel to the first Assassin's Creed and explains how Altair- (The hot guy in the picture above and the sole reason why I bothered playing the game in the first place) -got to where he was in the first game. Hence, the use of the word 'chronicles'.
Towards what I now know as the END, you start chasing some Templar ass to save this girl named Adha, whom they have captured and is planning to sell... I think.
You chase them to boats where you have to fight some really stupid Templar guards- (the kind who stand there while you kill their buddy and only after you're done do they attack)
Now, I know this is a prequel and it definitely wouldn't have concluded the way you think endings should end.. but I was expecting maybe a more conclusive ending.

This is how the damn game ended...

Ships blow up "BOOM"
Altair jumps overboard and runs to the port nearby.
Adha is shipped off on another ship.
Altair says "I'll find you, Adha!"

And I say "WHAT THE F.X.C.K?"

DOES he find Adha?
Well, the descendents of Altair is, I think, by that female-Templar-person-thing.
So where does Adha go?

Grrr. Grrr. Grrr.

And then I see some gameplay preview of Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood and I see Ezio get shot.
NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

D:

♥

When I was 14, I was constantly told that my main problem was the fact that I was a bloody introvert.

I came out of my shell when I left secondary school.

Lately, I find myself revisiting that old problem.

I should get out more.
My dreams are not reality.
Any more of me living in my own head and I might really go crazy.

Do you know....?

That I spend ALOT on clear holders?
Wanna know why? Because it is cheaper to print and file piano pieces than it is to buy the book.
(I'm such a criminal!)
Prior to today's bulk file buying, I already had 5 files storing more than a hundred pages.
Generally, the price of each file that I buy in the bookstores are about RM13~Rm15 each.
While drinking my milk this afternoon, I remembered that Daiso has stationary.
So I tied a rope around my sick brother and dragged him off to Daiso.
Yes, they have files. For RM5 each. Which is 1/3 the price. So I bought four.
Why I never thought of Daiso before is baffling.

Speaking of that.. I've been playing alot of Joe Hisaishi on piano lately.
The thing about Joe Hisaishi is.. his pieces are simple to play, simple to the ear but it's so charming and endearing. His pieces start out simple, clear and normal and then it reaches this point, where just these few bars of fantastic composition suck you into the music completely.
My favourite few bars is about 5-7 lines into One Summer's Day (Sen to Chihiro no Kamikushi, Spirited Away).. which will be the 'chorus'.. I always feel at ease when playing and listening to it.
There are many composers that I love and admire (I have mentioned hundreds of times) but there are only a few that I confess to loving every single piece and Joe Hisaishi is one of 'em.
Hayao Miyazaki's animation is sweet and charming and a portion of that is contributed by Joe Hisaishi's amazing music.

Epic sounds!

Ever watched a trailer and thought... "DAMN THAT SONG IS THE SHIT!"?
Well, I have.. and I've always wondered where I can find that sort of music.
Have you?


E.S. Posthumus - Nara

Also, listen to stuff from X-Ray Dog.
The name sounds like some cheap sci-fi movie oriented around dogs and electromagnetic radiation but it isn't.
This group actually does music FOR TRAILERS.

But of all the trailer music making groups, I still really love Two Steps From Hell (No, not a black metal band) and Immediate Music

Two Steps From Hell - Heart of Courage

Epic of all epic-ness!.. is Immediate Music.
(This is the same video my brother insisted I halt all that I was doing and listen to)

It's a combination of music..
0:00 - 0:48 - With Great Power
0:48 - 1:01 - Lacrimosa
1:01 - 2:00 - Preliator
2:00 - 2:22 - Orchard Of Mines
2:22 - 2:52 - Serenata
2:52 - 3:20 - Blasphemy 2.0
3:20 - 3:39 - Mercutio
3:39 - 3:57 - 4 Horseman 2.0
3:57 - 4:26 - Let It Burn
4:26 - 5:11 - Fahrenheit
5:11 - 6:25 - Spiritus Elektros
6:25 - 6:49 - Liberation!
6:49 - 7:49 - Rising Empire
7:49 - 8:20 - Def Con
8:20 - 8:59 - Ultimatum
8:59 - 9:49 - With Great Power
-taken from the description

HAHAHAHA

http://blog.esaba.com/projects/facts/index.php
Discovered this link on Rye-chan's blog.
Basically, you insert your name and it generates random Chuck Norris-like facts with your name in it instead!
I put in Vampyy.. and put my gender as 'IT'

There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well it does exist, and Vampyy finds it delicious.
[HA!]
Vampyy knows the last digit of pi.
[if there is any]
If you spell Vampyy wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Vampyy?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
[Run while you still have the chance]
When Vampyy sends in its taxes, it sends blank forms and includes only a picture of itself, crouched and ready to attack. Vampyy has not had to pay taxes, ever.
[WISH]
He, who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Vampyy dies.
[Very true]
For every person Mother Nature kills, Vampyy kills five.
[People suck~]
Bullets dodge Vampyy.
[YES!]
In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Vampyy.
[:D]
Vampyy sleeps with a pillow under its gun.
[How comfortable is that?]
Vampyy always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.
[That would help ALOT in the game]
Vampyy invented black. In fact, it invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
[Another one I TOTALLY agree with!!]

I think I overdosed on herbs. It IS possible, folks

Yesterday night, I couldn't sleep due to an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach.
Before I could mutter the word "Ow", I found myself hunched over the toilet bowl... and you can pretty much guess what went down there.
That was at 5AM... 6 hours of throwing up later, my Mum hauls me out of bed (with much force) and drags me off to the doctor where more shit went down..
Doc: Can you hold anything in?
Me: No
Doc: Okay, I'll give you a jab.
Me: No No No No
Doc: It won't hurt
...
It did.
I have the biggest fear of jabs.
Anyway, he said "In 15 minutes, it should calm everything down"
15 minutes later, I was in the bathroom throwing my guts up. I swear my spleen was seen in the bowl.
Few minutes later, same story.
Finally went to sleep out of sheer exhaustion.
I do remember waking up in between to take sips of de-gassed 100Plus but other than that, I don't remember.
I did not eat anything yesterday.. nothing at all (Except for the three cans of 100Plus that was to rehydrate the very dehydrated me)
And nothing today too... until dinner.. which was probably the first time I managed to climb out of bad.. although I tipped over and nearly fell when I got up.
And for dinner, I drank soup.
This is a diet for the very impatient.

The jab at my arse still hurts. I think it's because I was too tensed.
Bugger.

Started watching X again.
I never fail to cry.
NEVER FAIL.
I've only watched the entire series twice (prior to this) and both times, I cried.
But I must admit, I love the animation for X.

Cliffhangers = EVIL and should be burned

This is me.

This is me if the cliffhanger materialised into a chair.

Blood, sweat and tears.
(Mostly sweat because the fan in my living room is such a pain in the rear)
[Not much tears, just put that in to make up the three]
I've worried for weeks.
WEEKS OF NO SLEEP.
And today... is the day...

I decided very early on that it will be bad luck and a very bad omen, to tell anybody (or discuss) this impending doom for I feared that it will make the doom even more doom-ier.. if there were ever such a thing possible.
I kept it to myself and worried all on my own (with the occasional "OH MY LORD I'M SO SCARED" that I served on a verbal platter to my friends).
They kept saying "It will be fine".. I kept saying "I'm gonna kill myself".
That's how it has been for weeks.
I've been mapping out suicide plans in the event that the doom does not wipe me out completely.
Little did I know, I was expected to throw myself into hell's fire. I was to walk through the flames of hell itself and knock on it's door (which would be full of molten gold, I presume.. you know, heat)..
Which I did. Today.
I girded my loins and marched through ready to face the dreadful wrath of Beelzebub, Belial and Lucifer combined. I took a huge breath, and walked in....

And as it turns out, the doom... was not very doom-y.
Hell, was not really hell.

[Translated: I PASSED!!!! I CAN GRADUATE!!!! I DID NOT FAIL!!!!]

Okay, the truth without the drama.
I walked in and she told me "Third class" (Don't judge, I totally expected to fail.. getting something with a class in it is a present served on a golden plate from God.. if you believe in God).
I almost cried. I promise you there were traces of tears... as much as my damn self will allow, anyway.
I heaved a sigh of relief and she said "I know. We were all relieved that you passed as well".
I thanked her... sincerely... and immediately ran out of the staff room.
Not because I was upset.. Oh, no.
Because the tears were threatening to pour.
I have said this before.. I do not cry in public. Only on three seperate occasions have I cried in public and two of them was in primary school when I fell and had food poisoning (respectively). (The third was recently but it was not necessarily a downpour but more of a sniffly, sparse drizzle of tears).
But we're getting sidetracked here.. I find myself to be sentimental when I'm happy.
Anyway, I ran out, ran into my car, locked the car (switched on the engine.. damn the sun is hot).. sat in there awhile, let it all soak in and then the tears came in bucket-loads.
I called SJ and wailed in happiness. I bet I sounded like a walrus.. with a cough.
I called Nut and continued wailing.
I wailed to Claireeey as well, I believe.
I sent a wail-y message to my Dad.
My Mum called and I wailed.
I ran wailing into my grandmother's room.
I sent out a Twitter full of wail.
[Claireeey, you can choose to read 'wail' as 'whale' for your own entertainment]
(Wail, here, does not have a negative meaning although I know I'm using it in the wrong context.. but it did sound like I was sad when I wasn't)

The rabbits are happy.
The sharks are happy.
The snowman have not melted.
It's a very happy day in my world.

... only to be ruined by the hell that is Japanese exam tonight ...

I'm calming nerves... allow me to throw my brain up

“A normal man given a group photograph of school girl or Girl Scouts and asked to point out the comeliest one will not necessarily choose the nymphet among them. You have to be an artist and a madman, a creature of infinite melancholy, with a bubble of hot poison in your loins and a super-voluptuous flame permanently aglow in your subtle spine…”

Reading Lolita , somehow, does not scream "horrible-obscene-paedophilic-pornography".
(Yes, I have resumed reading)
The excerpt above was the first time it hit me that this man was lusting after a CHILD.
On that note, sometime after that (the above) was said, he gets to know the child through great deceit.. and in one scene, he was sitting with her on the couch. Things apparently got a little too hot for this man.
However, it wasn't until I reread the paragraph that I realised he was getting off!
I mentioned this before, Nabokov's writing is genius.

River Phoenix is hot.
(Was watching My Own Private Idaho again)
I love that movie. River Phoenix and Keanu Reeves.
Somehow, though, I wanted to see the two guys getting it on together without that girl.
I would die from nosebleeds.

I never realised he died.. due to the fact that I was too young at that time to even know about him.
It was after I watched My Own Private Idaho that I found out... and got sad.

I'm listening to Eminem.. wow wow. Don't mock.
My brother always listens to this song that I love called Beautiful.. and I finally got it.
I put this song next to Mockingbird and Sing for the Moment as the songs I love from Eminem.

I'm so afraid right now that even staring at River Pheonix and fantasizing about possible metaphysical relations is not enough to scare the fear away.